World Cup 2010: England's Charmless Mediocrity Against Algeria

A goalless draw in Cape Town left England supporters with little to cheer, but it was Wayne Rooney’s reaction that crystallised the sense of disconnect. His decision to criticise the fans who had paid a small fortune to be there only served to highlight the chasm between this team and the people they represent. It is one thing to play badly, but quite another to display contempt for those who travelled to watch. For a player earning more in a week than most supporters see in years, it was a moment that suggested the unreality of the world he inhabits.

If this is the price of genius, many will now be questioning the value. Manchester United supporters may feel immune to his ire, believing his club loyalty runs deeper, but they would be foolish to think he holds them in any higher regard. This is not about club versus country; it is about a fundamental lack of respect.

A Sorry Tale of Misplaced Passes

Beyond Rooney’s outburst, the performance itself was a sorry tale of misplaced passes and wrong decisions. The team looked one-dimensional and tedious, a mediocre outfit with delusions of grandeur. Only one player emerged with any credit: David James. Considering the intense scrutiny that has followed the England goalkeeping position for the last week, his composure was remarkable. He was the exception in a team that otherwise played as if the weight of expectation was a crushing physical burden.

Fabio Capello, a man known for his perfectionism, must have watched on with increasing disdain. What must a manager of his calibre think when seeing Steven Gerrard attempt a header from the edge of the penalty area, or watching pass after pass dribble harmlessly into touch? The enormous pay cheque he receives is presumably the only rationalisation for presiding over such a shambles. His mistakes can be debated, but on the evidence of this match, you would trust him far more than almost anyone on the pitch.

Algeria, after a tentative start, grew into the game, seemingly waking up to how limited their supposedly superstar opponents were. By the final whistle, it was the Algerians who should have been cursing their luck for not taking this slovenly bunch to the cleaners. Their performance was a reminder of how the rest of the world has caught up while England has been treading water for decades.

The Worst of Both Worlds

Most England supporters could tolerate an objectionable team if it had a genuine chance of winning the World Cup. They could probably accept a degree of mediocrity from players who were humble and entertaining. What they have right now, however, is the worst of both worlds: a team that is singularly charmless and cannot justify the billing it seems to grant itself. This situation is fuelled by a ludicrous press that believes waving a flag and shouting loudly can overcome deep, systematic defects in English football.

The only mitigation offered is that other big teams have also started poorly. To point at the struggles of Spain, France, or Italy is to be damned by the faintest of praise. England’s performance must be judged on its own demerits, and it was found severely wanting. The historical graphics used to illustrate team kits often tell a more compelling story than the football on display.

All that anyone asks for is a team to be proud of. This team seems incapable of even thinking and being on a football pitch at the same time.

Contrition and a Last Chance

England may yet stumble into the knockout stage. Results elsewhere mean a win against Slovenia will see them fall through the door into the next round. Their pre-tournament status as fourth favourites to win the entire competition now seems more ridiculous than ever. It is impossible to imagine the circumstances under which this side could get anywhere near winning the tournament.

What is needed between now and Wednesday afternoon is a great deal of contrition and an end to all excuses. If this team is to exit at the group stage for the first time since 1958, they should at least go out trying to take a chance or two. If they cannot manage even that, they should take their leave and let the World Cup get on with teams that actually want to be here.