Some of you may have been worried about the fate of Mungo McCrackas, currently the world’s third-best Scottish football player. You’ll be pleased to hear that he rides again thanks to the dazzling pen wrangler David Squires.

It’s Mungo’s first day at Premier League newcomers Primrose Hill Ramblers and that means meeting the press. But will they be as impressed as they should with English football’s biggest ever summer signing?

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There’ll be more from Mungo every month. A warm welcome to Twohundredpercent to David Squires. You can visit his site here and follow him on Twitter here. You can follow Twohundredpercent on Twitter here.