Good afternoon everybody, and welcome to FA Cup Fourth Qualifying Round day! All the teams are competing for the possibility of a dream trip to, umm, Dagenham & Redbridge – I jest, of course – and for a slice of that lovely, delicious, nutritious prize money. We’ll be back just after three o’clock to bring you all the news as quickly as we can get it.

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Ian October 24, 20153:00 pm

15,00 – Up and down the country, whistles blow to signal the start of the FA Cup Fourth Qualifying Round. There has already been one result come through, for those of you that are interested. In a lunchtime kick-off, Forest Green Rovers beat Margate by two goals to one, so their luminous green kits (the shade of which doesn’t seem very eco-friendly to me, but there we go) will take their place in the First Round Proper of the competition.

Ian October 24, 20153:04 pm

15.05 – Just in case you’re new to all of this, my team is Enfield Town, who are at Chesham United this afternoon. It’s the first time they’ve got this far in the competition – the old Enfield FC were, of course, famed non-league giant-killers – so forgive me if I get a little animated should they win today.

Ian October 24, 20153:05 pm

15.06 – First goal of the day? Possibly – Eastbourne Borough 0-1 Dover Athletic after two minutes. Meanwhile, at Maidenhead… (that’s Woking “ultras”, as I assume they call themselves.)

Ian October 24, 20153:06 pm

15.06 – First goal of the day? Possibly – Eastbourne Borough 0-1 Dover Athletic after two minutes. Meanwhile, at Maidenhead… (that’s Woking “ultras”, as I assume they call themselves.)

(Maidenhead lead by a goal to nil against Woking too now, by the way)

Ian October 24, 20153:09 pm

15.08 – Quite a big goal in the West Midlands – Stourbridge 1-0 Kidderminster after six minutes. Kidderminster may be two divisions above Stourbridge, but they’ve had a dismal start to the season and it doesn’t look as if things are getting any better for them today.

Ian October 24, 20153:11 pm

15.10 – Macclesfield Town have come out the traps flying – goal! and another one! They lead Alfreton Town by two to nil.

Ian October 24, 20153:12 pm

15.12: Winter’s on its way, friends:

Ian October 24, 20153:15 pm

15,15 – More goals: DIdcot Town 0-2 Brentwood Town, FC Halifax 1-0 Guiseley, Barwell 1-0 AFC Rushden & Diamonds. 

Ian October 24, 20153:16 pm

Say is as you see it, Silkmen…

Ian October 24, 20153:19 pm

15.18: I think we might have our first inkling of where one of the surprise results of the day could come. Eighteen minutes played and it’s now Stourbrudge 2-0 Kidderminster Harriers. (I know these things are all relative, but Stourbridge are two divisions below Kidderminster)

Ian October 24, 20153:20 pm

15,20: Another little surprise up in North Yorkshire, where it’s Harrogate Town 1-0 Grimsby Town.

Ian October 24, 20153:22 pm

If you want to know about multi-tasking, I’ll tell you about it. I’m feeding a baby AS I TYPE THIS.

Ian October 24, 20153:25 pm

15.25: Controversy at Gloucester!

Ian October 24, 20153:26 pm

15.27: Not sure whether National League teams might be guilty of underestimating lower placed opposition teams in the FA Cup this year, but there’s another losing now. It’s Gateshead 0-1 Worcester City.

Ian October 24, 20153:28 pm

15.27: Two more goals – the resultant penalty from that last but one post means that it’s now Staines Town 1-0 Worcester City, and it’s also Bromley 0-1 Eastleigh.

Ian October 24, 20153:29 pm

15.28: Ah, balls. Chesham United 1-0 Enfield Town. Also, in the most promoted match of this round of the competition so far, it’s now Sporting Khalsa 0-1 FC United of Manchester.

Ian October 24, 20153:35 pm

15.31: I’ve got a feeling that some of the clubs that I’m following don’t live tweet their scores. Brackley lead Bamber Bridge by a goal to nil, as do Braintree Town over Harlow Town (that might qualify as a local derby, of sorts). Didcot have pulled one back against Brentwood and are now 2-1 down, Grimsby have levelled at Harrogate and Torquay United, for whom I might suggest a new club motto of “From Bad To Worse” are a goal down at Basingstoke Town, who, the last time I looked, were falling off the bottom of the National League South, a full division below them.

Ian October 24, 20153:37 pm

15.37: Told you so. Basingstoke Town 2-0 Torquay United.

Ian October 24, 20153:40 pm

15.39: If everyone could please stop scoring goals, I’d be grateful. Except for Enfield Town. They may score goals. It’s down to ten-a-side at Staines, by the way. They’ve had a player sent off against Gloucester City.

Ian October 24, 20153:40 pm

15.40: Two goals at Moss Rose. Now Macclesfield 3-1 Alfreton.Town

Ian October 24, 20153:44 pm

15.42: Another goal at Willenhall, where ‘s now Sporting Khalsa 0-2 FC United of Manchester. Elsewhere, Didcot Town were two goal at home against Brentwood Town, but have now pulled it back to two apiece.

Ian October 24, 20153:46 pm

15.45: More goals – Chippenham Town 0-1 Maidstone United, Stalybridge Celtic 0-1 North Ferriby United, FC Halifax Town 2-0 Guiseley, St Albans City 1-0 Weston-Super-Mare.

Ian October 24, 20153:50 pm

15.48: One more goal before half-time – Havant & Waterlooville 0-1 Cheltenham Town. That looks like half-time just about everywhere, to me. I’ll be back in ten minutes – just off to take some heroin and have a nervous breakdown.

Ian October 24, 20153:52 pm

15.49: OH TITS.
Chesham United 2-0 Enfield Town. *rips up tin foil FA Cup*

Ian October 24, 20153:58 pm

15.57: Another goal missed in the maelstrom of goals elsewhere and baby milk. Boreham Wood 1-0 AFC Hornchurch, which is also a half-time score.

Ian October 24, 20154:07 pm

16.07 And we’re back under way for the second half. Shortest ten minutes of my life.

Ian October 24, 20154:10 pm

16.10: Short delay at the start of the second half because the boy sicked up on me.

Ian October 24, 20154:12 pm

16.11: Goals, meanwhile. Macclesfield are now pegged back to 3-2 against Alfreton Town, whilst Cheltenham Town now lead 2-0 at Havant and Altrincham have taken the lead against Chester. In other news, the baby sick situation is now resolved. Well, I’m covered in baby sick, anyway.

Ian October 24, 20154:13 pm

16.12 Kidderminster Harriers are on their way to a humiliation in the FA Cup. They’re now 3-0 down at Stourbridge.

Ian October 24, 20154:14 pm

16,13: Says it all, really:

Meanwhile, Gateshead have equalised against Worcester City,

Ian October 24, 20154:15 pm

16.14: Another goal at Clarence Park – it’s now St Albans City 1-1 Weston-Super-Mare.

Ian October 24, 20154:17 pm

16.16: Things are going almost as badly this afternoon for Woking as they are for Kidderminster. They’re now 2-0 down at Maidenhead. In other news:

Ian October 24, 20154:17 pm

16.16: Things are going almost as badly this afternoon for Woking as they are for Kidderminster. They’re now 3-0 down at Maidenhead. In other news:

Ian October 24, 20154:19 pm

16.18: Barwell 1-1 AFC Rushden & Diamonds, whilst Wealdstone now lead Bognor Regis Town by a goal to nil, which makes a predictable mockery of this:

Ian October 24, 20154:21 pm

16.20: Torquay United join the National League Clubs Who Are 3-0 Down Club, with Kidderminster Harriers and Woking.. Bromley, however, have levelled against Eastleigh and AFC Fylde have scored against Barrow.

Ian October 24, 20154:24 pm

16.23: There’s a second goal for Wealdstone against Dotmund Regis Town (as I will naturally call them when they are losing), whilst Whitehawk lead Pole Town by a goal to nil, though thay goal could have come at any time over the course of the last hour or so.

Ian October 24, 20154:25 pm

16.25: If you’re going to make an exclamation upon scoring, do it with style, I reckon.

Ian October 24, 20154:27 pm

16.26: Any takers? I had 02620.

Ian October 24, 20154:28 pm

16.27: Yet another National League side in trouble. It’s now Salford City 1-0 Southport. Ryan Giggs will be delighted (as will the BBC, who now have their story for the First Round.). Meanwhile, Sporting Khalsa have pulled a goal back against FC United of Manchester. It’s two-one to the visitors now. And Gloucester City have levelled things up at Staines.

Ian October 24, 20154:30 pm

16.28: And another one! Gateshead 1-2 Worcester City. And another other one! FC Halifax Town 1-2 Guiseley.

Ian October 24, 20154:32 pm

16.31: Looks like Cheltenham Town and Aldershot Town are bucking this trend of National League teams being a bit shit today. Cheltenham now lead 3-1 at Havant & Waterlooville, whilst Aldershot have taken the lead at home against Sutton United.

Ian October 24, 20154:34 pm

16.32: Havant & Waterlooville 2-3 Cheltenham Town. Nice one, Predict-ian. ALso, Brackley Town now lead Bamber Bridge by two to nil.

Ian October 24, 20154:35 pm

16.35: FC Halifax Town are now level against Guiseley at 2-2.

Ian October 24, 20154:38 pm

16.38: Everything’s gone a bit Kidderminster Harriers for Cheltenham Town, who’ve chucked away a two goal lead at Havant & Waterlooville, where the score is now 3-3.

Ian October 24, 20154:40 pm

16.39: Another goal at St Albans, who now lead Weston-Super-Mare by two goals to one. Another team that has been struggling in the league but taking care of business in the FA Cup.
BABY SICK UPDATE: It dries really quickly. Presumably because it’s 99% milk.

Ian October 24, 20154:41 pm

16.40: The other comeback kids of the afternoon at the moment are Didcot Town. They were 2-0 down at home to Brentwood after what felt like about six nanoseconds, but now lead by three goals to two.

Ian October 24, 20154:43 pm

16,42: Not sure if this was recent or not, but it’s now Eastbourne Borough 1-1 Dover Athletic as well.

Ian October 24, 20154:44 pm

16.44: Grimsby Town went a goal down early on too, but they now lead by four (FOUR) goals to one at Harrogate. Elsewhere, Eastleigh have now retaken the lead at Bromley. I recommend a visit to Bromley’s ground, by the way. It’s got an open terrace that runs one entire side of the pitch, which is something you don’t see too much of any more.

Ian October 24, 20154:47 pm

16.46: The chairman of Wealdstone is feeling the pressure of the job a little bit today (in a good way.).

Ian October 24, 20154:48 pm

16,48: It’s probably game over in Willenhall. Sporting Khalsa 1-3 FC United of Manchester, though it looks rather as if that third goal came very much against the run of play.

Ian October 24, 20154:50 pm

16.49: Heartbreak for Gloucester with two minutes to play. Staines Town have now taken a 2-1 lead against them.

Ian October 24, 20154:52 pm

16.50: Last minute goals! Stalybridge Celtic 1-1 North Ferriby, and it’s now Didcot Town 4-2 Brentwood Town. Final whistles are now starting to sound all over the place. PRAISE THE GREAT GOD PAZUZU.

Ian October 24, 20154:53 pm

16,52: There’s been what looks like a stoppage time winner for Dover Athletic at Bromley.

Ian October 24, 20154:55 pm

16.54: Is this the last goal of the afternoon?

Ian October 24, 20154:56 pm

16,55: One significant score that sneaked under my radar a little… Wrexham 0-1 Gainsborough Trinity.

Ian October 24, 20154:57 pm

16.56: Enfield Town pulled one back at Chesham United, but it wasn’t enough and they’re out. 

Ian October 24, 20154:58 pm

16.57: That bunch of bumbags.

Ian October 24, 20155:05 pm

17.04: Time to knock this one on the head, I think. You get can get all of today’s scores here, courtesy of our good friends at The Real FA Cup. I’m off to clean the baby sick off my clothes and the human sick out of my hair. Long story.
It’s been emotional!