The second of our matches sees the 2014 World Cup arrive in Porto Alegre for the match between Frances and Honduras in Group E. This evening’s match is being played at the Estadio Beira-Rio, the home of SC Internacional, with their city’s rivals also recently revamped Arena do Grêmio having been overlooked for this tournament. For France, this tournament is an opportunity to get their World Cup finals record back on track after the abysmal failure of four years ago when, in one of the big surprises of an underwhelming group stage across the entire competition, they were eliminated after three matches without a win and with the squad having threatened to go on strike.

This time around, there are no such concerns that the players will only be barely speaking to the coach by the time these three games are over. France only qualified for the tournament by the skin of their teeth, and after they lost the first leg of their qualification play-off match by two goals to nil against Ukraine last November, it looked as if they might even fail to get through to the finals of the tournament for the first time since 1974. In the return leg at the Stade de France, however, everything changed. A three-nil win sent them through to the finals, and friendly matches since then which have included an eight-nil rout against Jamaica and a two-nil win against the Netherlands have instilled a degree of confidence in the French public that this team might just be coming together at the right time.

Honduras, meanwhile, are in the finals of the competition for only the third time. Their first appearance came in 1982, when they finished bottom of their group but in two extremely creditable performances to earn draws against both the host nation Spain and Northern Ireland. Four years ago in South Africa, they could manage just one point from their three matches, but failed to score a single goal and were eliminated from the tournament with one game to spare. In qualifying, they finished in third place in the CONCACAF qualifying group, behind the United States of America and Costa Rica and four points above one of that region’s traditional powerhouses, Mexico. Indeed, Honduras beat Mexico both home and away in that qualification round and also beat the USA at home, so perhaps underestimating them might turn out to be something of a fool’s errand. Ian King and Rob Freeman will be with you from shortly before eight o’clock.

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Mark June 15, 201410:08 pm

And ultimately a good choice of panel by the Beeb. “Thierry, great goalscoring from Benzema.” “Clarence, excellent style and technique from the French.” “Robbie, dirty bastards those Hondurans, eh?”

Ian June 15, 201410:02 pm

Right, well, that was an unconfusing evening. We’ll be back with Lionel Messi vs Edin Dzeko – oh, wait, Argentina vs Bosnia-Herzegovina – in a little under an hour.

Rob June 15, 20149:58 pm

But then Robbie Savage has just said that he remembers 1962.

Rob June 15, 20149:58 pm

Even Robbie Savage though Honduras were OTT.

Ian June 15, 20149:56 pm

No! Christ! Bloody Lineker’s started on it now!

Ian June 15, 20149:55 pm

Well, that was considerably more fun than I was anticipating. France obviously terrific value for the win, and Honduras, well, there’s a team full of angry, angry men. They’re clearly going home after three games.

Rob June 15, 20149:55 pm

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ll love it to be wrong, but you could see air between the post and the ball the second time around.

Rob June 15, 20149:52 pm

Pat Nevin disagrees with it too, saying he thinks the technology was wrong (and without a conclusive TV angle, there’s no way of knowing).

Ted June 15, 20149:51 pm

Jonathan Pearce and Richard Keys: the only two men in sports broadcasting who honestly believe that Charlie Brown is going to kick that football.

Ian June 15, 20149:48 pm

Take a look at the last few tweets here:

Ian June 15, 20149:44 pm

Many years ago, I saw someone who never used a PC before pick up the mouse and press it against the monitor screen. I can’t imagine that Jonathan Pearce hasn’t done that.

Ted June 15, 20149:42 pm

Twitter has really turned up the heat on Jonathan Pearce, in a way that I’m sure would get to him if only he could remember how to open his laptop.

Ian June 15, 20149:41 pm

All France need to do is close this game out without losing any of their players to life-threatening injuries. I’m not altogether certain that this will happen.

Ted June 15, 20149:36 pm

Olivier Giroud is about to make an appearance, an austerity-friendly hairstyle in a sea of 1930s chic.

Ian June 15, 20149:34 pm

Jonathan Pearce remains undecided.

(I think he’s going to need to be cartooned, Edward)

Rob June 15, 20149:34 pm

I won’t believe the third has actually gone in until the goalline technology tells us.

Ted June 15, 20149:34 pm

I’m still waiting for the goal line technology screen to pop up to confirm it.

Ian June 15, 20149:31 pm

Voila! Three-nil for France, and it’s Karim Benzema for France. Beautiful finish. He absolutely muttoned it.

Ted June 15, 20149:30 pm

Has a commentator ever been substituted during a match? They do it all the time on Test Match Special of course. Jonathan wouldn’t even need to lose face. “And after this from Martin Keown, we’ll be hearing from Alan Parry”.

Ted June 15, 20149:26 pm

He could even make a catchphrase out of it. “There’s a hole, so that’s a goal!”

Ian June 15, 20149:25 pm

I’ve never seen a commentator take a kicking on Twitter the way that Pearce is now. Co-commentators get it all the time, but I’ve long suspected that’s part of the reason why they’re there in the first place.

Ted June 15, 20149:25 pm

It’s difficult to know exactly what it takes for Jonathan Pearce to know what is and what isn’t a goal. A computerised device that confirms it beyond any shadow of physical doubt has already been proven insufficient. My new idea is that every goal should be covered in wet tissue paper.

Rob June 15, 20149:23 pm

Well it wasn’t in, Jonathan. It’s not 3-0. Can he be demoted to ITV?

Ted June 15, 20149:23 pm

But what did Martin Keown have in HIS locker? We asked his former Everton teammate Graeme Sharp. “A pork pie and a packet of three”.

Rob June 15, 20149:20 pm

Is it just me or is Martin Keown obsessed with what people have in their lockers?

Ted June 15, 20149:16 pm

But in his defence, he was always good on Robot Wars.

Mark June 15, 20149:16 pm

i.e. exactly what Jenni said, only angrier…

Mark June 15, 20149:15 pm

So Benzema’s shot didn’t cross the line. i.e “no goal”. The keeper fumbles it over the line i.e. “goal.” And having seen that happen in slow motion, twice, Jonathan Pearce STILL doesn’t understand. What is so difficult? That is his JOB. He can’t do it. And he is, believe me, being phenomenally well-paid to be that out-and-out thick. An unprofessional disgrace.

Jenni June 15, 20149:12 pm

It’s not *that* baffling Jonathan – it bounced off the post then the keeper bundled it in…

Ted June 15, 20149:10 pm

Karim Benzema will be known as Karim “Geoff Hurst” Benzema for the remainder of this evening’s live blog.

Ted June 15, 20149:09 pm

GOAL LINE TECHNOLOGY! IT WORKS! London Zoo paints its elephants pure white with Dulux Once in celebration! France take a two-nil lead courtesy of Matthew Broderick in the film War Games.

Ian June 15, 20149:08 pm

Well, that was absolutely magnificent. Goal-line technology FTW.

There will now follow a twenty minute long argument about whether that shot that definitely crossed the line crossed the line.

Rob June 15, 20149:08 pm

Goal line technology FARCE!

Ted June 15, 20149:05 pm

Honduras make two changes at half time, which will surely mean a tactical shift to a more free-flowing total football style as opposed to total war.

Rob June 15, 20149:05 pm

I’ve reheated last nights bolonese. Fully. No half measures here.

Mark June 15, 20149:05 pm

Clarence Seedorf, Thierry Henry and…………….Robbie Savage. That is all.

Ted June 15, 20149:04 pm

A productive half time for me, as I have put the bins out AND weeded the vegetable patch. Beat THAT, livebloggers.

Ian June 15, 20149:00 pm

I saw Glenn Hoddle on TV earlier for the Switzerland vs Ecuador match, and pondering the fact that he now looks like Glenn Hoddle as drawn by Dotmund.

Ian June 15, 20148:57 pm

So, it’s half-time and France lead by un a zero. The second half could end in an absolute kicking. I’ll reserve judgement on what sort of kicking that might be for now.

Ted June 15, 20148:52 pm

Thierry Henry makes Shaft look like Gary Wilmot.

Ted June 15, 20148:51 pm

Samuel L. Jackson would meet Thierry Henry and ask for his autograph and then enquire where he gets his shoes.

Rob June 15, 20148:51 pm

If Thierry Henry is representing France, is Robbie Savage representing Honduras’ style of play?

Ted June 15, 20148:50 pm

Thierry Henry has not slept for a single minute since he arrived in Brazil. He is, quite possibly, the coolest man alive. He’s so cool he makes Clarence Seedorf look like Glenn Hoddle.

Terry June 15, 20148:48 pm

It’s always satisfying to see a hatchet man getting his comeuppance.

Rob June 15, 20148:48 pm

ITV will have a red card the size of the Hublot boards of course

Richard June 15, 20148:48 pm

There was a long wait before he got to take it.

The BBC score bar is a Van Gogh when you look at ITV’s monstrosity.

Ted June 15, 20148:46 pm

Brazil 2014 keeps its feel-good World Cup credentials, as France and Honduras end the half each with exactly what they deserve. France with the lead, Honduras down to ten men.

Jenni Silver June 15, 20148:46 pm

Phew that red bit is on everyone’s screen, thought it was something breaking

Rob June 15, 20148:45 pm

The BBC have added a little red card to their score graphic so you know someone’s been sent off.

Ted June 15, 20148:44 pm

Thus proving, once again…

Ted June 15, 20148:44 pm

Karim Benzema has the look of a man who will not score this penalty in a million years.

Rob June 15, 20148:44 pm

Pelanty and red card.

Ian June 15, 20148:44 pm

He just couldn’t help himself there, Palacios, could he? So un penalty and une carte rouge in favour of France.

Ted June 15, 20148:43 pm

Ha ha ha, Wilson Palacios. A grand bell end.

Rob June 15, 20148:42 pm

Moustache or no moustache, it’s your vision.

Rob June 15, 20148:42 pm

Or rutting away in the red light district.

Ted June 15, 20148:40 pm

Imagine Sam Allardyce skinning up

Rob June 15, 20148:40 pm

Actually, yeah, the Dutch were 2010’s representatives of Sam Allardyce.

Ted June 15, 20148:38 pm

if this Honduras team really is the “soul of the country”, people must have to walk the streets of Tegucigalpa in chain mail and pith helmets

Ian June 15, 20148:36 pm

Here’s a list of all the things that I can remember about the 2010 World Cup:

1. Nigel de Jong’s Bruce Lee impersonation in the final.
2. Frank Lampard’s hilariously disallowed goal against Germany.
3. That’s all.

Rob June 15, 20148:35 pm

Gratuitous England reference because Sakho made his debut against them.

Rob June 15, 20148:33 pm

Honduras in 2010?

Ian June 15, 20148:33 pm

Cheers, Mark. Now I’m hearing that too, and I can’t unhear it.

Mark June 15, 20148:32 pm

Is Martin Keown being played at the right speed? He sounds as if he’s taken on board some helium? And did Jonathan Pearce REALLY call Honduras’s keeper a “Ledge”???

Ian June 15, 20148:30 pm

The World Cup is always better for having a really thuggish team. When was the last time we really had one of those?

Rob June 15, 20148:29 pm

Clearly Palacios learned his trade at Stoke.

Ted June 15, 20148:28 pm

Wilson Palacios is a prime example of why politicians probably ought to rethink the anti-smacking laws.

Ian June 15, 20148:27 pm

Ha ha ha, grown men in tight fitting polyester shirts pushing and shoving each other around is ALWAYS funny. Yellow card for Palacios. Probably only yellow because he’s got such a great name.

Richard June 15, 20148:26 pm

Looks like your earlier prediction might be right Rob.

Rob June 15, 20148:26 pm


Ted June 15, 20148:25 pm

France are starting to bring this game to life. Aptly enough, as Honduras have been trying to kill it. And everything.

Ian June 15, 20148:24 pm

Zut alors! France hit the crossbar for the second time. Honduras are clinging on a little, here.

(Edward, you know my opinion of Michel Platini the footballer and the France team of that era fully well)

Rob June 15, 20148:23 pm

That French kit could only be improved by swapping the FFF badge for an Ipswich Town one, and adding Pioneer, or, er… Radio Orwell on the red stripe.

Ted June 15, 20148:23 pm

Michel Platini is also what a French footballer should look like. Michel Platini, smoking a Gitanes Blonde, turning a defence inside out with a single pass.

Ted June 15, 20148:21 pm

My dad’s second ever car was a red Austin Allegro estate. Piece of shit, it really was. People who bemoan the demise of the British motor industry don’t have a single clue what they’re on about.

Ian June 15, 20148:21 pm

This is what a French kit should look like (courtesy of the magnificent @AntiqueFootball account on Twitter):

Terry June 15, 20148:21 pm

A Minor error.

Ian June 15, 20148:20 pm

He opened his commentary by calling the city he’s in “Porto Allegro.” Presumably it’s got a nice Marina.

(See what I did there?)

Ted June 15, 20148:19 pm

In my defence, Jonathan, I’m too hungover to work the microwave.

Rob June 15, 20148:19 pm

Jonathan Pearce clearly getting his research from us, there. Tell them about Ted’s lasagne.

Ian June 15, 20148:18 pm

There are some great names going on in this match. Wilson Palacios is a MAGNIFICENT name.

Ted June 15, 20148:18 pm

Wilson Palacios there, making such heavy weather of a body check that the referee has drawn round the outline of his body in disappearing spray and sent for Hercule Poirot.

Rob June 15, 20148:16 pm

And Valladares tips a Blaise Matuidi shot onto the crossbar. What a great name that is. I reckon he’s named after a Burlesque troupe.

Ted June 15, 20148:14 pm

Possible improvements to French team: call-up for player called Jean-Charles Zatapatique

Rob June 15, 20148:14 pm

Why don’t these FIFA edicts ever apply to Brazil’s kits? Brazil are allowed yellow shirts with blue shorts, but Colombia aren’t, for example. France should ask FIFA what language their name is in, and who invented the competition, and wear white shorts, and if that fails strike. To meekly accept it is unFrench.

Ian June 15, 20148:13 pm

I had a pair of Hi-Tec trainers when I was a teenager. They were erotically comfortable.

Ted June 15, 20148:13 pm

There is also a football match going on, folks, It’s 0-0 after 13 minutes.

Ted June 15, 20148:12 pm

THIRD: Radio 1 Roadshow t-shirt, Bermuda shorts, Hi-Tec trainers

Ian June 15, 20148:12 pm

You know what the worst thing about France switching to Nike from Adidas is? They haven’t got the three stripes arranged as a Tricolore on their sleeves any more.

Do you think FIFA would allow a lone wolf t-shirt as a change kit?

Ted June 15, 20148:11 pm

HOME: fur-lined bomber jacket, leather chaps and cowboy boots; AWAY: David Hasselhoff t-shirt, white jeans, flip-flops

Ian June 15, 20148:11 pm

I just received this reply on Twitter:

Followed by this:

Ted June 15, 20148:09 pm

Of course, it would look better if FIFA weren’t such a bunch of idiots and clowns and allowed France to wear white shorts this evening. But then, of course, they’d be virtually *indistinguishable* from their opponents.

Ian June 15, 20148:09 pm

What, denim? Now, a stonewashed football shirt with furry collars is something I could throw my weight behind.

Ted June 15, 20148:08 pm

I believe it is based on Tissu de Nimes

Ian June 15, 20148:07 pm

And the blue on those French shirts is too dark. Still, it’s an improvement on that anaemic number they had at the European Championships a couple of years ago.

Ian June 15, 20148:05 pm

Cold lasagna? Ick, you are an animal. We’re having rosbif at half-time, appropriately enough.

Ian June 15, 20148:04 pm

As I noted above in the preamble, I don’t think that Honduras are anybody’s fools and I dare say the performance of Costa Rica against Uruguay last night will have given Didier Deschamps something to think about over the course of today. Got an inkling for them to get something from this tonight, and I’m not even drunk. Yet.

Ted June 15, 20148:04 pm

I’ve eaten half a cold lasagne and two peaches. The French kit is glorious and the Honduran one not a whole lot worse. All I have to do is ride this post-England match tiredness (hangover) out until 1 a.m. and I can judge Sunday 15th June 2014 to be a success. And do the bins. Have to do the bins.

Rob June 15, 20148:03 pm

I really fancy a sending off in this one. In the build up, both the French camp and French TV have been critical of the somewhat physical style that Honduras have shown in friendlies and qualifiers.

Ian June 15, 20148:01 pm

Evening, boys and girls. Looks like *somebody* (for “somebody”, read “FIFA”) has arsed up the opening to this match by missing out the national anthems and, as we all know, La Marseillaise is the only national anthem really worth listening to. So, let’s get that going here instead.