Woodford United’s Nightmare Season Reaches Its Conclusion

We’re approaching the end of the domestic season, and attention will inevitably turn to who will win which trophy and who will earn themselves promotion. Football, however, isn’t always about winning and there will be considerably more clubs left with nothing to celebrate at the end of this season than there will be shaking up bottles of champagne and then opening them, grabbing managers and slinging them into the team bath or running around a pitch dressed with sponsors logo-adorned flags wrapped around their neck. Failure, of any sort, is a default option for a majority of football clubs. That’s just how the numbers add up. There’s failure, however, and there’s failure. We might well chuckle to ourselves at a club stranded adrift at the bottom of a league table at this time of year, but there comes a point at which it is cruel to laugh. Welcome to the world of Woodford United Football Club, who are rooted to the bottom of Division One Central of the Southern Football League after having lost all thirty-four of their league matches so far this season. Over the course of this season, they have scored sixteen and conceded one hundred and fifty goals in the league, with their last four matches having seen the team lose seven-nil twice and ten-nil twice. The club long ago passed the point at which relegation...

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