Tag: Israel

Keeping The “Dream” Alive

I’m not a God-fearing man, but this weekend we have at least seen confirmation of the existence of Lucifer, because the only way that the events that unfolded in Tel Aviv last night could have come about in the way that they did must have been as the result of a very late pact between Steve McClaren and the devil. With the scores tied at 1-1 and time running out, Russia hit the post with a shot that could have knocked them out of the European Championships. Within a matter of seconds, the ball was at the other end of the pitch, and Omer Golan scored a critical goal. Had the score ended 1-1, England would have needed to beat Croatia at Wembley on Wednesday night. As it is, a draw will be enough, and Croatia warmed up for the match by losing in Macedonia. If (or when) England get knocked out on penalties in the quarter-finals next summer, I don’t want to hear any sobbing over how unlucky they’ve been. They used up all their luck for the next twenty years last night. So, a place in the finals is there for the taking, however little England deserve it. The good thing about this is that everything is much more of a black and white issue. England are plenty capable of losing to Croatia on Wednesday night, and...

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England vs Israel

I would like to start by pointing out that it was my birthday yesterday and that, as a result of this, I am massively hungover, so I would like to apologise for any spelling mistakes, grammatical errors or wildly libellous statements that I may make regarding Steve McClaren’s parentage or the right to exist of the state of Israel. The England team lines up as follows: Robinson, Richards, Ferdinand, Terry, Ashley Cole, Gerrard, Barry, Wright-Phillips, Heskey and Owen. Now, I hadn’t noticed Emile Heskey miraculously turning into an international standard striker – I can only presume that, in my stupor last night, I left my phone off the hook. Otherwise, I’d have been expecting to start this afternoon. I will give McClaren some credit for picking Gareth Barry (who should, of course, be known by all right-thinking people as Garybarry), for comedy reasons if nothing else. Anyway, more to follow shortly. 16.55: They’ve come out onto the pitch to that dreadful FIFA anthem. “He’s got a horrible haircut” seems to be the general consensus of this room. The woman singing the Israeli national anthem (which sounds, for the record, terrible – somewhere between a Eurovision entry and the backing music for a tourist board advert) scares me a little. It’s in her eyes. “God Save The Queen” is, of course, a dirge. But you already knew that, didn’t you?...

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