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Author: Ted

Luca Badoer: Gentleman Driver

On Tuesday 16th January 2007, your regular correspondent Ian and I went to see Worthing play AFC Wimbledon in a league game. The programme for that day proudly marks the occasion of Worthing stalwart defender Mark Knee’s 400th game for the club.  This is not why we went, however. A late – too late to make it to the programme – change saw Steve Claridge lining up for the home side. It was his one and only game for Worthing, aged just 94. At half time two men from the Victoria & Albert wearing camel-coloured overcoats came on to...

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Epic, Futile, Infinite: The 8-bit Beauty Of Desert Golfing

Around a thousand holes ago, there appeared in the sky a lonely little cloud. It didn’t move. There was no rain. There it was, lodged in the heavens, as inanimate as the solitary cactus I encountered a few hundred holes earlier. These were both exciting moments: jolting signs of life in an otherwise lifeless wasteland of angular peaks and troughs the colour of a Martian plain. In both cases, I stopped briefly to admire the dramatic new scenery before reluctantly moving onward, towards infinity and beyond, and a destiny unknown. This is Desert Golfing. If you haven’t heard of...

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Hamilton vs Rosberg

The coming together between Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg on the second lap of last Sunday’s Belgian Grand Prix was not a premeditated act of dastardly foreign intrigue, nor was it the death knell for any hopes of a second World Championship title for the plucky Brit. It was, simultaneously, both less and more significant than that. But above all, it was a crushingly predictable conclusion to a relationship between teammates that has moved from diplomatic friendship to waspish paranoia and now outright hostility, within the course of one summer. Formula 1 fans have become somewhat unaccustomed to this...

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The 200% World Cup: The Final Word – Fun, Wasn’t it?

It was a measure of how entertaining the 2014 World Cup finals were until then that the second-round tie between Argentina and Switzerland got such horrible reviews. No two hours of football containing 43 (count ‘em) attempts on goal should be completely written off, however putrid some of them were (hello, Josip Drmic). Especially given the almost unspeakably dramatic climax. However the finals were threatening the highest three-goals-per-game ratio on colour telly. So viewers were ill-prepared for a return to ghosts of ghastly finals games past. And the final itself highlighted a conflict between “good” and “entertaining” football. For...

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The 200% World Cup: Brazil 2014 By Numbers

Our resident obsessive-compulsive Dotmund has been busy drawing other things biting other things, and so has let World Cup artwork slide. Which is a relief to everyone. However, his real love in life is lists and attempting to ascribe numerical order to chaos. This is because he’s an idiot, or has too much time on his hands, or both. Here is his guide to this summer’s shenanigans from a numerological perspective.  0 There have been no teams who failed to score at the 2014 World Cup. Two failed to trouble the onion bag in South Africa. Zero is also,...

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