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Author: Ted

When Football Was Good, Part 6 – Emlyn Hughes

Even his nickname was of the decade that came to encapsulate the best of his career. For some, the name Crazy Horse might summon forth mental images of Neil Young’s screaming, screeching backing band. For others, it might be the peculiar sight of Mormon syrup specialists The Osmonds proving that they could rock out as well as dampen female gussets. For football supporters of that decade, however, it’s a name that could only reasonably be associated with one person. Liverpool’s Emlyn Hughes. It’s easy to recall Hughes as the pastel-sweatered joker with a voice inflected with helium on the...

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How Scottish Journalism Works, Parts One & Two

I was ready for Easter when Rangers International Football Club (RIFC) released their interim financial results for the six months to December 2014. And by the end of this week in this story, I was ready to retire. The accounts were bog-standard RIFC stuff, although seeing the whole corporate clusterf*ck spread out on-screen still retained powers to amaze. Multi-million pound losses? £2.89m. Check. Barmy payments to external bodies? Half-a-million to Newcastle United if Rangers win promotion. Check. Rangers challenging in Scotland and Europe? By 2022. Check. Traditions and values? Traditional values and traditions (traditional traditions?). Check. Contingent liabilities? Craig...

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When Football Was Good, part 5

BRIAN KILCLINE Defender. Born 7th May 1962, Nottingham. Clubs: Notts County (1980-1984); Coventry City (1984-1991); Oldham Athletic (1991-1992); Newcastle United (1992-1994); Swindon Town (1994-1995); Mansfield Town (1995-1997); Halifax Town (1997-1998). League appearances: 440. League goals: 42. Domestic honours: FA Cup 1987. International honours: 2 U21 England caps (1982) Brian “Killer” Kilcline was everything you’d want in a hard-tackling centre back. Influential, charismatic, just the right amount of eccentric (he generally eschewed volleyed clearances, preferring the tried and true diving header) and not a little hard (he once beat John Fashanu at arm wrestling, as well as being invalided out...

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Taking On Mike Ashley, The Rangers Way

Mike Ashley, Newcastle United’s owner and all-round corporate scumbag appears an expensive barrier to Rangers’ financial progress. When former RIFC director Chris Graham was proclaiming the skies over Ibrox free of massive clouds, Ashley had already formed his own ultra-massive, lucrative clouds.  He reportedly invested £1m to buy three million RIFC shares before the now-infamous Initial Public Offer (IPO) in December 2012, a considerable personal investment in the context of the IPO, if not in the context of Ashley’s personal fortune, which made him Rangers’ third-largest shareholder. There were also reports that Rangers could “borrow as many as nine...

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When Football Was Good, Part 4

MIKE HOOPER Goalkeeper. Born 10th February 1964, Bristol. Clubs: Bristol City (1983-1984); Wrexham (1984-1985); Liverpool (1985-1993); Leicester City (1990 (loan)); Newcastle United (1993-1996); Sunderland (1995 (loan)). League appearances: 125. If Liverpool’s famous Boot Room was the power behind the throne of the most recent great Liverpool team, Mike Hooper was arguably the power behind the substitutes bench. A promising career in the lower divisions seemed to be blossoming when Kenny Dalglish made Hooper one of his first signings as Liverpool manager in 1985. Over his eight seasons on Merseyside he mustered only 51 league appearances, usually in dead rubbers...

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