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Author: Ted

World Cup Gallery

World Cups don’t need posters any more, really. In these days of saturating media coverage, combined with the explosion of information technology, the chances of someone walking round a street corner, glancing at a poster and saying, “Hmm, it seems, Milicent, that there is to be some sort of international football tournament to be held,” are minimal at best.

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Shit Shot Mungo: S02E34

Hello. In this week’s “Shit Shot Mungo”, the whole of the Heart of Clachmaninshire team take magic mushrooms in a desperate attempt to stay in the Scottish Premier League. It all ends up fairly messily, with even Tony Gubba getting messed up in the psychedelic fog that descends over the relegation from that league, a fog which ends up in one player spending rather too much time talking to an imaginary dinosaur. This week’s Shit Shot Mungo is brought to you via the medium of Dotmovision, and is on the Dotmovision HD channel...

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UEFA & “Financial Fair Play” – The Book Of The Film

The UEFA Financial Fair Play proposals were scrutinised by the British press this week. Mark Murphy thumbs through it, takes a look at the press reaction to it and concludes that, unless there is a fundamental shift in the attitudes of football clubs or the loopholes are great enough for them to be able to squirm through,  the game’s civil war – a war against regulation – may be just around the corner. It wasn’t up on the Times newspaper’s web-site for very long. But UEFA’s “Club licensing discussion paper” (version 0.98) was the sort of information for which some may pay when the Times and Sunday Times start charging people to read their websites this summer. Not that the 62-page document would top any best-sellers list or win any literary prizes – certainly not the Booker Prize for Fiction, as I’m sure UEFA’s staunchest critics would have you believe. It’s a dry document, as these things always are. The minutia of financial regulation always is. But it is chock-full of common sense, practical solutions to practical current problems, mechanisms for preventing those problems in the future… in fact, all round, the “right thing.” “Something has to be done,” increasing numbers of English club owners have been saying. And it has been. For the moment, the proposals only apply within UEFA’s remit, specifically clubs’ participation in UEFA’s club competitions. So UEFA...

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The Premier League Ponders A Salary Cap

The Premier League’s Annual General Meeting this summer will provide stringent salary cap regulations for English football’s top tier, to judge by the plethora of club chairmen who have offered unsolicited opinions in favour of such regulations in recent months. It is refreshing to see such a consensus around an issue of such magnitude, especially coming from a group of people of such sound judgement. West Ham co-owner David Gold has struck a discordant note around the subject. But he has expressed his views with admirable consistency, long before salary caps became the sexy subject in the wake of Portsmouth’s financial demise. As he said on BBC Sport last summer, in opposition to “capping”: “I think you have to be very careful that you don’t go all the way back to 50 or 60 years ago, when Blackpool was the top club in the division, because you’d end up with a very bland league.” That, alongside his view that a “league” is “the survival of the fittest,” is a healthy sign that the debate will be constructive and well-informed, I’m sure you’ll agree. The credibility of the salary cap argument is demonstrated by Fulham chairman Mohamed Fayed being its most fervent supporter. As long ago as last April, Fayed was talking in admirably emotive terms on the subject. “Take my crusade against Sky-high players’ wages,” he told London’s Evening...

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The World Cup Of National Anthems: Part Four

For many people, major sports tournaments are the only occasion that national anthems are heard. These peculiar tunes have become a genre of their own, transcending the mere hymns that many of them were in first place, and they range from the gloriously uplifting to mournful dirges. The selection of words has, in many countries, brought about national debate that has been all-encompassing. In the case of Spain, it was decided that it would probably be for the best just to not bother having any for the sake of national unity.

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