Friendly International: Germany vs England – Live!

by | Mar 26, 2016

Good evening, everybody! I’m going to assume that – unless you actually support one of the dozen or so lower division teams that actually had a match scheduled for this weekend and didn’t have it subsequently called off or abandoned because of a monsoon – you’ve missed your football fix today and that you’re now settling down in front of your television/radio/internet device with a view to entertaining yourself by trying, with the assistance of ITV’s commentary and a substantial amount of ale, to convince yourself that this evening’s friendly match between England and Germany means so much as a hill of beans.

It doesn’t, of course, unless England somehow contrive to find a way to win, in which case they will automatically become the best team in Europe, which means that UEFA may as well just cancel the entire European Championships this summer and just give them the Henri Delaunay trophy now. Or something. Only joking, of course. There remain few people in England who believe the national football team to be capable of getting anywhere near winning this competition. Germany, on the other hand, are a different matter, even though they were not particularly remarkable in qualification. They are the current world champions, after all.

Anyway, at the exact time of writing it’s five past seven in the evening, which means that kick-off is forty-five minutes. England will be playing their first match in their atrocious new kit, whilst Berlin’s Olympic Stadium is notable for its rakish blue running track. So, why not come join us at around about half past seven for some team news, more pithy commentary about how daft we all are for taking two hours out of our schedules for this particular match, and other such finely-honed bon mots*. (*Quality and spelling of bon mots may be adversely affected by amount of alcohol consumed – this is a Saturday night first and foremost, after all.)

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