Euro 2016: Chris Oakley’s Alternakits – Group F

by | Jun 11, 2016

Time then, for the final round of Euro 2016 alternative kits, designed for us by Chris Oakley because the kits that have been designed by the manufacturers for the teams taking part in this summer’s European Championships have been a pretty dreadful bunch. This evening we’re up to Group F, which features two of the outsiders in the tournament, Iceland and Hungary, as well as Portugal, featuring Cristiano Ronaldo. You can find more of Chris’s designs over at his home for such matters, Kitbliss, and you can follow him on Twitter by clicking here.

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Austria: Pretty much a slight updating and tweaking of the Puma kits Austria wore seemingly endlessly throughout the 70’s and 80’s. I particularly like the stark, clinical nature of the away kit in white and black. One feels that Austria are able to carry off that slightly ostentatious look better than Germany, yet I have no evidence of Austrians being more overtly self-confident than Germans, nor whether their sense of humour could act as cover for a kit like this one.

group-f-hun

Hungary: Tribute Time once again, this time for the late, great Ferenc Puskas. These kits hark back to the days when a lace-up collar was the height of technological progress and a slight paunch only served to accentuate the ability to drink vast quantities of alcohol. Again, there’s another forceful dragging of a classic kit from its distant slumber of years gone by into the modern era in the shape of the away kit. A red, white and green hoop across a (nearly) plain white shirt – surely one of the most iconic designs ever. The original, that is – not the one I’ve just illustrated.

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Iceland: Nothing much to see here. Just a jumble of red, white and blue across both kits, applied to my standard Puma template. Iceland deserve better, but a better designer who was available at short notice couldn’t be found, let alone one that MIGHT HAVE BEEN PAID AS A RESULT OF ALL THIS.
group-f-por

Portugal: Having listened to far too many 200% podcasts than is conducive to good health, I happen to know that Dotmund likes to use the work ‘rakish’ quite a lot. Quite right too: it’s a good word and not used anywhere near enough for my liking. Anyway, I hope he’ll use it to describe this Portugal home kit, for the shirt has two sleeves in different colours. Not many kits can boast that. These are, of course, the colours of the Portuguese flag, whereas the away kit is in the colours Eusebio often wore when he was on his travels with the rest of his team-mates. Kappa once again, but it seems to fit the brief. Any arguments to the contrary should be sent to Ian King, c/o 200%.

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