Category: Art

When Football Was Good, Part 4

MIKE HOOPER Goalkeeper. Born 10th February 1964, Bristol. Clubs: Bristol City (1983-1984); Wrexham (1984-1985); Liverpool (1985-1993); Leicester City (1990 (loan)); Newcastle United (1993-1996); Sunderland (1995 (loan)). League appearances: 125. If Liverpool’s famous Boot Room was the power behind the throne of the most recent great Liverpool team, Mike Hooper was arguably the power behind the substitutes bench. A promising career in the lower divisions seemed to be blossoming when Kenny Dalglish made Hooper one of his first signings as Liverpool manager in 1985. Over his eight seasons on Merseyside he mustered only 51 league appearances, usually in dead rubbers...

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When Football Was Good: Part 3

TONY DALEY Winger. Born 18th October 1967, Birmingham. Clubs: Aston Villa (1985-1994); Wolverhampton Wanderers (1994-1998); Watford (1998-1999); Walsall (1999); Forest Green Rovers (1999-2002). League appearances: 340. League goals: 41. Domestic honours: 1994 League Cup. International honours: 7 England caps (1991-1992). Tony Daley was little, had mad hair and was fast. Fast in a way that wingers used to be when football was good. Fast in a way that on-the-ball trickery wasn’t even particularly a factor. It would only have slowed him down. Daley is most famous for his spell at Aston Villa. Part of the side that won Villa...

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When Football Was Good, Part 2

MAURICE MALPAS Full back. Born 3rd August 1962, Dunfermline. Clubs: Dundee United (1979-2000). League appearances: 617. League goals: 20. Domestic honours: Scottish League Championship 1982/83; Scottish Cup 1994. European honours: UEFA Cup finalist 1987. International honours: 55 Scotland caps (1984-1992). Maurice Malpas played for Dundee United and no-one else. Even his underwear is tangerine and black. He made 830 appearances for United in a 21-year career, but at the time that he and United were winning their most recent Scottish League title in 1983, Malpas was not yet a full-time professional. Instead, he mixed football with studies for an...

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When Football Was Good, Part 1

In the first of a groundbreaking new series of pictures, our resident idiot Dotmund explores a time when football was better than it is now. This week: Pat Nevin. PAT NEVIN Winger. Born 6th September 1963, Glasgow. Clubs: Clyde (1981-1983); Chelsea (1983-1988); Everton (1988-1992); Tranmere Rovers (1992-1997); Kilmarnock (1997-1998); Motherwell (1998-2000). League appearances: 660. League goals: 107. Domestic honours: English Football League Division Two Champions 1983/84; FA Cup finalist 1989; Member’s Cup finalist 1989, 1991. International honours: 28 Scotland caps, 5 goals (1986-1996). Pat Nevin was a player it is very easy to admire. He was that old cliché: intelligent for...

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The 200% World Cup: Artist’s Impression, number 8

Luis Suarez, eh? He’s big news. As surely as a team coached by Fabio Capello plunge headlong into igniminious early elimination at each and every World Cup, Luis Suarez will find a way to make his presence felt. Usually by biting your shoulder. Although I believe that Branislav Ivanovic got off with the old ear nibble. So he’s not afraid to mix it up, no doubt one of the factors that makes him such an unpredictable and difficult opponent. Our hamfisted resident artist Dotmund saw a picture of Mr. Suarez in amongst all the news coverage and it reminded him...

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