England vs Croatia


Ian began writing Twohundredpercent in May 2006. He lives in Brighton. He has also written for, amongst others, Pitch Invasion, FC Business Magazine, The Score, When Saturday Comes, Stand Against Modern Football and The Football Supporter. Ian was the first winner of the Socrates Award For Not Being Dead Yet at the 2010 NOPA awards for football bloggers.

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24 Responses

  1. ijon says:

    Ha ha ha! Now that goal has cheered me up no end.

  2. Odin says:

    “Oh dear”

  3. Odin says:

    “Oh dear, oh dear”

  4. 200percent says:

    It’s quite artistic, they way in which they are managing to make a mess of this. The problem doesn’t look much like the attackers (though I remain convinced that 2 goals is beyond them), but with the defence. The two goals were both staggeringly easy for Croatia.

  5. ijon says:

    I was quite impressed with just how far onside Wayne Bridge kept Ivica Olic for the second goal.

  6. Odin says:

    Is it too late to bring on Shearer & Wright for the second half?

  7. Amorous Badger says:

    WHY has he put on Defoe over a player is getting games and goals for is club?

    Does he have incriminating pictures of Senior FA types?

  8. Amorous Badger says:

    Softest penalty EVER.

  9. 200percent says:

    Well, you may well ask. I’m quite interested in the fact that some of the England players seemed to be almost going out their way to not pass the ball to Shaun Wright-Phillips in the first half, and then he gets taken off at half-time.

  10. ijon says:

    I think it’s quite a revolutionary tactic from Maclaren. Play with ten men for 45 minutes and then overwhelm the opposition by bringing the eleventh man into play for the second half of the game…

  11. Amorous Badger says:


    The tournament itself’s going to be pretty embarrasing assuming the scores stay as they are.

  12. Amorous Badger says:

    Oh dearie me.

    *resumes search for Holland replica kits*

  13. 200percent says:

    No part of what has happened this evening has surprised me. Seriously. The only thing that would surprise me now would be if England scored again.

  14. ijon says:

    Mark Lawrenson’s lost for words. So that’s something positive to take from the game.

  15. Amorous Badger says:


    *blames the ref, the russian pitch and your mum*

  16. Odin says:

    “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear”

  17. ijon says:

    Thank fuck for that. I can now look forward to Euro 2008 without my enjoyment being coloured by how badly England are doing.

  18. 200percent says:

    Steve: That’s partially my opinion. I won’t have my summer ruined by Sun Bowler Hatted fools with sunburn and bottles of alcopops squawking at me in the streets.

    France is the only other European country that I have any connection with, but I don’t much want to support them, either.

  19. Amorous Badger says:

    McClaren: ‘I won’t quit’

    We’ll see shall we Steve?

  20. 200percent says:

    I thought that s small part of the reason they took him on was that he was relatively low cost – they couldn’t afford much on account of the cost of Wembley and the Eriksson pay-off. He won’t quit, but he’ll be quite inexpensive to sack.

  21. bluerat says:

    The biggest plus from this result is that Test Match Cricket might take its place as the focal point of Englands sporting Summer.

  22. Anonymous says:

    How does one go about getting rid of Barwick anyway?

  23. Ed says:

    The FA’s method for choosing a new national coach works as follows.

    Firstly, factors such as domestic achievements are ruthlessly expunged.

    Then the remaining CVs are sorted according to criteria such as Patriotism, Englishness, England Caps and Bulldog Spirit.

    They are then fed into the FA-o-tron 3000 computer in the basement at Lancaster Gate. This machine carries out 10,000 calculations every second, before producing a print-out with the identities of the ideal matches for McClaren and Venables’ successors.

    I just tried it out, feeding the data from the League Managers’ Association into an online FA-o-tron simulator. I’m proud to be the first person on the internet able to announce that the new England manager will be Gary Megson. Assisted by David Beckham.

  24. ian says:

    You should have a look at that Ipswich place that Neil has linked your comment to there, Edmund – somebody managed to get Douglas Bader and Norman Wisdom.

    I’ve just had a go, it pulled out:


    That bloke that stands down the front on the last night of The Proms with a Union Jack wrapped around his shoulder, holding a baton and pretending that he is the conductor.

    Assisted by:


    The Ghost of Pickles The Dog

    (I may have a got at actually trying to make one of these, this evening).

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