The 200% World Cup: Germany vs Algeria, Live!
by Ian · June 30, 2014
Hello sports fans, and welcome to the fourth Second Round match of this year’s World Cup finals. Can you believe that it’s almost a quarter of a century since Germany last won the World Cup? No, me neither. Still, here we are, and they’ve been impressive so far, thumping against Portugal and workmanlike against Ghana and the USA. This is a first time past the group stages for Algeria, meanwhile, and a little extra spice has been added to this match by recollections of The Shame Of Gijon, the 1982 match between West Germany and Austria that edged Algeria out of the tournament on goal difference with rumours of collusion abounding. The winners play France in the quarter-finals., and we’ll be back shortly before nine for all the latest.
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Well, that was an absolutely magnificent. Such a terrific match. And whilst I agree with the common consensus that Algeria were just superb, I thought Germany were just relentless for the last forty minutes of the match. The France vs Germany match is a real mixed bag. I kind of still feel we have yet to see Germany replicate what they managed against – an admittedly against an apparently in disarray – Portugal. Maybe they’ll improve from now on. France, meanwhile, have ground out wins and won with a flourish. They’ve tailed off a little over the last couple of matches, though. Could go either way, really.
And with the last header, Bougherra isn’t far off a clear chance. Blimey x 2. Plucky x 22. But its 2-1 for Germany, for no change whatsoever. Boo. In a nice way. And now its France’s turn to exact revenge for 1982 (Schumacher, Battiston and all that). Allez les Bleus/Blancs or whatever FIFA orders them to wear for no good reason.
And Ozil makes it 2-0 after he and Schurrle mess up two more chances. They’ve been the 6th, 7th and 8th shots they’ve had in extra-time, though. Its a deserved win. But only 2-1, though, as Djabou pulls one back. Blimey.
Algeria no longer have the energy for a proper route one. And even as Slemani runs through he can’t run clear and cramps up as he’s over-run by defenders.
Blimey. Just noticed Ozil’s still on. Great effort for someone who’s normally shuffling benchwards after 70 minutes.
The mega-cramped Schweinsteiger is manhandled most of the way to the touchline by a thoughtless ref, even though “barely crawl” is his maximum speed. I’d have told the ref to “**** off.”
Opinion split down the middle over whether Schurrle mishit his goal (me) or whether it was a great bit of skill (everyone else). Glenn reckons Algeria are still in it, which is fair enough, but thinks so partly because “the ball doesn’t get tired.” Well, no..
Off again, thank the Gods
Mostefa swings one wide after Bougherra floofs a header. Still…in…this…
“Algeria have to call for Majid Bougherra.” For the first time, my temporarily pro-Algerian heart sinks a little.
And Schurrle scores the opener from Muller’s cross. Scruffs it, NOT “top-class skill” Townsend. But THEY…ALL…COUNT.
Not the last goal though?
Glad that wasn’t 80 seconds ago.
The thing is, if Algeria need to go to route one to get any equaliser, they’ll get one.
Tyldesley, meanwhile, refers to an “alleged pact” in 1982. The lawyers have gone home, Clive…
I do not want this to ever end. They could carry on like this for the rest of my life without scoring, as far as I’m concerned.
We have another 30 minutes of this. Which is good news.
Great interception from Halliche denies Lahm a last-minute winner. Extra-time. Good.
German free-kick routine straight from the Hal Roach studios. And chances at both ends while I typed that. I’ve said it before: WILL YE SLOW DOWN LADS, I’M TRYING TO LIVEBLOG!!!! Jeez.
Four minutes stoppo.
If you hadn’t noticed from the way he’s been playing, yes I do have money on Thomas Müller to score the first goal.
Hoddle getting twitter stick for his Al-Jazeera thing. But he corrected himself at once. Tyldesley has called Algeria NIgeria already and now there’s GREEK shirts flooding the box (and I checked, he didn’t say Green). Six minutes.
Muller and Schurrle denied by M’Bohli and Belkalem I remind you, had Algeria missed those chances, a German win would be unbackable. Germany missed them. AND now Muller misses a three-parts sitter. Eight minutes left. I have a feeling in my water…
Klose will be the next German change. You heard it here first.
Algeria have two good shots and another quick break. This is now a great 0-0…for as long as its 0-0.
I thought Lahm was still a right back for FC Bayern but obviously Tyldesley knows better.
But Halliche is one mistake/foul from a red card, methinks.
Khedira for the crocked Mustafi. Lahm at right-back. “Problems mount for the German defence,” says Tyldesley. Lahm was a right-back when I were a lad, though. Mind you, Neuer’s on his travels again.
Neuer is due a mistake from his “sweeper” style antics.
Ian, isn’t that how you pronounce it properly?
And my Dad ALWAYS says Franck Ribery in a dog’s voice. Well, he growls it anyway. Doesn’t like him.
Halliche is penalised for being fouled but needs to argue a little less as he’s been booked. The last two hard tackles on Algerians have been right next to effects microphones. Hope the ref isn’t influenced by the screams.
This has been far, far, far from a bad game. Engrossing.
Though I do still recommend saying “Franck Ribery” in a dog voice.
There goes the obligatory Mexican Wave
Germany on top. The tension is mounting, the game’s at a pivotal stage and the crowd…starts a Mexican wave. There oughta be a law…
Obviously you’d be the lead Mark. Danny would complement you nicely.
That’s very nice of you…oh..you mean Danny Murphy. Yes. I knew that.
57 mins 34 secs: Tyldesley: “The game is very stretched now.” Its official. Let the show begin…
I might start a petition to bring Murphy back for all the remaining games (regardless of the channel)
This is nuts. Madness. Or as Townsend says “a good start to the second half.” And Phil Neville was boring?
Schurrle has so much pace. He brings a completely different dynamic to the Germany team.
Wooh. If Algeria had missed those 2 chances, the world would be pondering the inevitability of a German win. But Germany missed them. Schurrle IS making a difference, though.
And as Strachan and Hoddle argue the complete toss about the difference between a scoop and a dink, we start again. Andre Schurrle is on for Scott Parker (Mario Goetze). But unless Schurrle’s going to “slot in” at centre-back, Germany’s problems remain. Oh, goody.
As Hoddle just let slip where his next job will be? “Al-Jazeera…erm…Algeria.” Al-Jazeera is Qatari, of course. One of them Freudian slips, Glenn?
Chiles thinks Germany’s discomfort is amusing to watch. For a number of reasons, he is right.
Germany really don’t know what to do when teams go at them. They look like they’re uncomfortable being closed down and their lack of time on the ball has lead to several terrible errors.
Either of these teams would have a great game against France in the next round.
Kroos has been linked to Real Madrid, Man U and Chelsea. Tyldesley thinks Kroos is” playing the field.” Nothing to do with lazy, speculative journalism, then?
Meanwhile, Algeria have “passed it well at times.” Heroic understatement.
Half-time: Another good 0-0.
And two “betters” and an “in and around” in one sentence. Cries of “house” from Townsend bingo-ers everywhere.
The one thing I’ve taken from this half is how much Algeria seem to be enjoying their football. After two and a half weeks of strained facial expressions and ritual pleadings of injustice, they’re a pleasure to watch.
Halliche in the book for tackling Schweinsteiger AGES after he “popped one off.” (One for the “Townsend Bingo” players)
Double save from M’Bohli. Game getting stretched. Has there been a Mexican wave yet?
All this football stuff. And I’ve just read a tweet which says: “David Cameron revisits Cool Britannia (with Michael McIntyre and Cilla Black).”
I no longer understand the world in which I live.
Agreed. Per Mertersacker is playing like he thinks so too…
Mark – Germany always win these games. Apart from that one time they didn’t. Against Algeria. Who they royally stitched up a week later. If any nation deserves payback for years of hurt, it’s Algeria.
This kit thing isn’t FIFA’s fault – it is adidas’ interpretation of FIFA’s rules. Every country with a “wrong” kit this time round – Spain, Colombia, Japan, Argentina, Germany, Russia – wear the three stripes. France (Nike) wore white shirt and dark navy shorts earlier today, Brazil (Nike) and Ecuador (Marathon) both wore yellow shirts with blue shorts throughout the tournament, but Colombia (adidas) “couldn’t”. FIFA’s kit rules are to allow people in poorer nations, to be able to watch on black and white TVs. Black shorts would make more sense here.
Of course, this is Germany. And Germany ALWAYS win these games. At least in their old kit they did.
It’s the least subtle hint since Rolf Harris…
(I’ll leave that there)
I’m going to hold my hands up and say that I furrowed my brow at the idea of Algeria making five changes for this match. Their performance so far proved me wrong.
Thanks. “The Algerians are hinting at a sensation,” says Tyldesley. HINTING???? Two VERY near misses, a great goal two feet offside…left-back fires wide. Yep. Hint…hint
Here we are – pigeon lofts:
Umm, I think pigeons might live in lofts.
He’s at the door…
Scarily unsteady. The cat is lurking near the pigeon coop (do pigeons live in coops?)
An unsteady start at the back from Germany, this. But that’s been half the fun of them of late, hasn’t it?
Neuer. Confident, isn’t he? Better tackler than most defenders in Brazil too…
White shirts, black shorts. white socks.
And, yes, red and black but no yellow, apart from most boots. White and black, like the old days, is that what you’re after Ian?
Will the Brazilian ref REALLY not want Brazil to reach the final just so he MIGHT ref it?? I mean, in 2010, I’m sure Howard Webb…no…bad example…
I am beside myself with anger about this German kit thing. What FIFA have done with this is an act of desecration, nothing less.
Much as I suspect you ALL feared, I’m on hand to fill in the gaps with unremitting cynicism and repeated mis-spellings and typos.
National anthems! I know all the words to the German national anthem in German, and it’s the only German I know. So, there’s something about me that you probably didn’t already know.
Okay, well, tonight’s live updates might be a little on the sporadic side, but I’ll see what I can do. First things first, though – that Germany kit is just about seventy different shades of wrong, isn’t it? FIFA can be such bloody morons at times. White shirts, black shorts, white socks. It’s really not difficult.