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The Decline & Fall Of Leyton Orient
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Tranmere Rovers & Cheltenham Town Stare Into The Abyss
Good afternoon, sports fans! Hope you had a nice day off. This afternoon we kick off the knockout stages of the competition with one of the most eagerly anticipated ties of the entire round, as Brazil play Chile in Belo Horizonte. Now, Brazil haven’t been especially thrilling so far but they seemed to have found a little more rhythm in their last match against Cameroon. Can they overcome their apparent over-reliance on the magnificent Neymar? We shall see. On the other hand, Chile were magnificent in their group matches. This, however, is the ultimate test of their credibility. Join us from five.
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Julio Cesar, off his line for both saves. But shhh…
And where did David Luiz run to after Chile’s last miss???
Still, fantastic match. Up yours Anne Coulter.
Ferdinand: “And its not even a quarter-final or a semi-final.” No biggie, then.
What did the goal-line tech say about that last penalty? Would they dare look?
By the width of the post, the World Cup saved. And Leitrim have got a goal back. Double damn.
Gonzalo Jara hits the post, it rebounds out, and Brazil win 3-2.
Neymar dummies twice, Bravo doesn’t move, but goes the wrong way (3-2)
“Dreeeeaaaful penalty taking” – Hansen.
Marcelo Diaz – straight down the middle (2-2)
Hulk SMASH straight into the keeper (2-1)
Aranguiz scores a belter (2-1)
And a goal for Roscommon in the Connacht Minor Football Championship against Leitrim…eh…what?
Marcelo – Bravo gets hand to it, but its in (2-0)
Sanchez for Chile – saved again! (1-0)
Willian passes the ball to an advertising hoarding. Awful, awful penalty. (1-0)
Brilliant call, Rob (see below)
Mauricio Pinilla – down the middle, and saved! (1-0)
David Luiz scores (1-0)
All Webb has to do is order re-takes if keepers leave their line. It’d be a first.
Good luck, Howard…
Here we go… Brazil first.
Are the crowd chanting “the referee’s a wanker” there?
So many prayers, the Gods won’t be able to make out any of them…
There’s still a chance that Howard Webb can take centre stage here, of course.
Alan Hansen giving his experiences of penalty shootouts there, and how you feel as you walk to take it.
Then points out he never took a penalty.
As Pinilla hit the bar, the advertising hoarding directly behind the goal said: “now or never”
Full time. We have penalties. And Pinilla would be the last man I’d allow to take a penalty, right now.
Pinilla fires a great chance against the crossbar in injury time, and Ramires hits the last chance of the game inches wide.
Pinilla nearly ends the World Cup. The width of the bar away
Guy Mowbray starts quoting the Chuckle Brothers. We’re all SOOO tired…
Chile’s players dropping everywhere, says Mowbray over a slo-mo explanation of just why
Brazil’s fouling is getting less and less subtle.
Medel subbed before his leg falls off
Willian to win it for Brazil, then.
Alexis Sanchez seemly on the end of about four fouls on the edge of the box, doesn’t go down, doesn’t get a free kick. Its almost like referees want players to dive.
Keown not sure that the Jo foot across Bravo’s chest is a booking. Jo himself seemed to think otherwise, no complaints at the yellow card AT ALL.
Oh…and well done Howard Webb (actually…it was).
I’ve got a bit confused here. Did Mullarkey flag for the handball? And if not, did he tell Webb it was handball? Was he on “corners and throw-ins only…until Webb said otherwise?”
Alan Shearer agrees with “Howard” on Hulk’s disallowed goal, even though he can’t understand how he could give it, because he was so far away. That’ll be why he consulted the linesman…
Phew! What a match…even when it was dying…
Three minutes added on.
Looks like they’ve decided to avoid the midfield since Ramires joined it. And I wasn’t aware of this game “dying” either. Great stuff from Hulk, there. Vidal’s replaced…that could be more important to the outcome.
I don’t understand why Chile have changed their tactics. In sitting deeper, keeping players back, and hitting it long, they’re inviting Brazil onto them, and Brazil are getting chances in front of goal. For the second time in five minutes Keown reckons it’s “come alive again”.
Being able to play in more than one position is the “passport” to this Chile side. It should be a passport to ANY international side. An Englishman thinks it remarkable, though. I refer you to the final Group D table for the possible consequence of that narrow mentality.
Pre-moustache, Fred looked like Vialli, didn’t he?
I still love Fred’s moustache, it is a wonderful appendage.
Mowbray confuses Hulk with Fred – the pressure’s getting to everyone. Fred comes off so that it won’t happen again. Very thoughtful. Fred’s applause to the largely boo-ing crowd must be sarcastic…
Fred is replaced by Jo, which somehow makes Brazil’s frontline look weaker.
And Harry Redknapp reject Julio Cesar makes a fine save from a Charles Aranguiz shot.
The old Fred-Jo continuum
Luis Gustavo next in the book – and he would miss the quarter final. Its like Webb is under orders only to book players who have been booked before.
Certain areas of Sussex have just become Brazilian, then…
If Chile win I’m going to celebrate by getting my willy out.
“Howard Webb is being tested to the limit here.” – Keown. And he’s getting a “C” at the moment.
The email explains. I’ve only written one article, lazy bugger that I am.
Ooops, number two. Hulk scores. Mowbray screams “incredible”, even though the goal wasn’t. Webb says handball, even though it wasn’t. Doubtless that will be a “brave” decision by full-time. But at least Webb can’t be accused of home bias. Bet he’ll be on the plane home if Brazil lose, though.
Chile have gone defensive – just three attackers in the box for their last corner.
And Hulk scores – after controlling the ball with his upper arm, and Howard Webb and Mike Mullarkey decide between them to rule it out and book Hulk.
Mark, you’re aware that you sent me the same piece twice this morning, yes?
And more nonsense about Brazil’s elimination being a disaster…end of the party…etc… Because Chile, Colombia, Holland fans…no sense of fun there. Junkleclunks…
Thousands of empty seats at second-half kick-off. Time for FIFA to regurgitate their 20-minute half-time idea. Think “£advertising income.” I’ll leave that last typo in.
Interesting piece with Clarence Seedorf. Hope there’s a longer version. But no seatbelts for the in-car interview? The BBC insurance department will have had kittens.
“Its been a very tough match for Howard Webb,” they say, as his image comes up on the screen where the key PLAYERS usually are. It has been. But he’s made a bit of a junkleclunks of it, don’t you think?
And now the latest from the England camp… guys? GUYS?
Howard Webb…is about to blow his whistle…for half-time. Well done, Howard.
The game is so good its like the Premier League, say the pundits. The defending certainly is.
Fred and Medel have a set-to, although Fred started it by offering a friendly, almost apologetic hand. Is there nothing he can do right?
Half time, and the teams leave the field with Gary Medel and Hulk in a pushing match.
Crab football now…
Dani Alves is going grey, isn’t he? I mean he can’t have used that dye deliberately?
And is Neymar taking his corners off a tee?
Neymar tries a jinking run, but ruins into a Gary Medel shaped wall, the ball falls for Fred who fires it far over the bar. Silva gets booked for the most innocious foul of the match so far, and he’s suspended for the next game.
Another replay. Another Webb blooper. Another snivelling excuse from the com-box.
“Fred draws a foul.” On you go, 200% art department.
Fred misses a sitter. Off you go, Fred.
Who said the defending’s been shit in this competition…oh, yes, EVERYONE.
Mowbray looking forward to Hansen’s take on the Brazilian defending for the goal. Keown believes Hansen will admire Sanchez too, completely missing Mowbray’s point. Completely.
And we have a goal. Brazil have a throw in near their own corner flag. Marcelo throws it to Hulk who daydreams long enough for Vidal to pick his pocket he plays it past David Luiz who is also half-awake – and Sanchez doesn’t need asking twice. Its 1-1.
Thiago Silva’s recent clearance – no longer “the most un-Brazilian piece of football.” Is Hansen packing his bags???
Webb has definely left his cards at home, as Fernaninho commits two fouls from behind in thirty seconds. Unless you handle the ball of course, because that’s cheating.
Keown reckons he wouldn’t mind marking the largely immobile Fred. I’m guessing Fred would feel much the same if he ever saw Keown in an England shirt.
If the referee wasn’t English, he would have “left his cards at home.”
Fantastic scythe from Arturo Vidal leaves Neymar in a heap, but no card from Howard Webb of England.
Was wondering why Neymar didn’t take an early chance with his left foot. He drags a similar chance ten yards wide to answer my question. That was nice of him…
That’s a goal for Ireland!! Gonzal O’Hara. Definitely.
Keown seems unable to embrace the concept of a player playing more passionately for his country than his club. England didn’t make the last 16. But only a cynic would connect the two…
And well done the referee’s assistant for not flagging it offside. (are Cann and Mullarkey the assistants?)
Or does it go in off Gonzalo Jara’s knee? Either way, we have our first goal.
David Luiz’s first Brazil goal goes in off his knee. 1-0.
And England’s Howard Webb of England books his first player: Eugenio Mena for an obvious if stupid handball. He missed the quarter final if Chile win. Which they’re less likely to do. As the free kick produces a corner which David Luiz taps in at the far post.
Mena “misses next match” after a dopey handball. Well done, Howard Webb.
Penalty to Brazil? But Howard Webb, who has had FOUR times as many namechecks on the Beeb in the first ten minutes, he say no. Very possibly wrong. These referees from nations with tinpot leagues. And, yes, I’ve been waiting for my first opportunity to type ALL that…
But I think it WAS a penalty…
Hulk goes down in the box, with Isla just clipping him as they both ran. Webb gives nothing, Wilson & Keown are behind Webb until the third replay, even though the tangle of legs is clear.
Martin Keown. Fernandinho’s foul “nothing in that at all!” Aranguiz on Neymar: “knew what he was doing.” Fernandinho’s foul was the worst. We now know where Keown’s sympathies lie. Grim. Mind you, Neymar’s walking funnier than me at the minute.
Thanks to some idiot in front of me shouting “You want to watch that Marcello, he dives” at a Sheffield United v Ipswich game in 1999, every time that Marcello went near the ball, I can’t hear this Marcelo’s name without the same earworm. and when I say, every time, I mean E-V-E-R-Y time.
I’ll judge you as more sensible than me. Whatever it was…
I didn’t make the mistake of watching the build up. I shan’t say what I watched, as you will judge me for it.
After Switzerland-Honduras, this is the second match on four days to be a repeat of a match at South Africa, even down to the date. The SWI-HON match went from 0-0 in 2010 to 3-0 in 2014. Will this be the reverse?
Oh…and in the BBC warm-up, I SWEAR the “countdown to kick-off” clock started going backwards when Alan Shearer began to speak.
Both sets of fans singing loudly after the music stopped, Chile’s “second verse” drowned out by boos. Brazil’s team and mascots nearly did themselves a mischief with their singing.
Come on Chile, not least because Alan Hansen has said he hasn’t “come here” to see Brazil knocked out. So he’ll **** off home if they lose, right?
And we’re off.
I haven’t moved house. I’ve barely moved off the sofa, truth be told.
I fancy Chile to pip this you know.
I also fancy Howard Webb to give an exceptionally bad decision in Brazil’s favour. Especially if Chile pip this.
So, the national anthems are played. Come on football!
Well, after a day of moving house, your intrepid 200% team is now on its way back to West Sussex. Will we make it back on time? Stay tuned to find out.
(We probably won’t)
Ian began writing Twohundredpercent in May 2006. He lives in Brighton. He has also written for, amongst others, Pitch Invasion, FC Business Magazine, The Score, When Saturday Comes, Stand Against Modern Football and The Football Supporter. Ian was the first winner of the Socrates Award For Not Being Dead Yet at the 2010 NOPA awards for football bloggers.
Of course, some of the 200% team have the sense to live in God’s own county, Surrey…but don’t have the technical expertise to get technical expertise to get the blog up and running. Damn.