The 200% Podcast 13: FOUL!
The Power Of Discretion And Why Guidelines Are… King
Steven Gerrard, The Media & Liverpool’s Structural Issues
The Twohundredpercent Podcast LIVE!
Where, Exactly, Do Queens Park Rangers Go From Here?
End Of Season Ennui
The 200% Podcast 12 – General Election Special
Saturday Night On Channel Five For The Football League
The Decline & Fall Of Leyton Orient
Rape, Disrespect & Fury: The Oyston Family & Blackpool FC
Is It Time For A New Football Club For Newcastle?
Tranmere Rovers & Cheltenham Town Stare Into The Abyss
It’s up for grabs, now. This evening’s match between France and Switzerland is unlikely to beaten for absolute, utter insanity, but this was a result which did both Honduras and Ecuador a favour. Switzerland dropping points and conceding goals was exactly what those two nations needed. So, can these two teams come anywhere near to matching the madness that France and Switzerland managed? Join Mark Murphy and Terry Duffelen at eleven to find out!
You can follow Mark on Twitter by clicking here.
You can follow Terry on Twitter by clicking here.
You can follow Twohundredpercent on Twitter by clicking here.
It is the ninth 2-1 result in 26 games thus far and it was a deserved win for Ecuador, who played a fair bit of football in-between the clattering and junkleclunking. It guarantees them next-to-nothing, however, as they face France in the final match while Honduras will watch Switzerland melt in the Manaus jungle. Goal difference means France virtually have an extra point so may rest a few players against Ecuador, although there doesn’t seem to be a “weak” XI in their squad. “That was alright wasn’t it?” asks a surprised Matt Smith. Strachan and Townsend concur. Poyet avoids the question. And that’s that for me, before Hoddle gets the mic again and I launch this PC high into the Surrey night. Thanks Terry. TTFN.
And no doubt Enner Valencia will be the subject of some ill conceived bids from European clubs.
FULL TIME. An earthy but hugely enjoyable game draws to a close. Enner Valencia is the toast of Curitiba.
The “last chance”, on 93 minutes 12 seconds, is an over-hit ball towards Costly and “the night belongs to Ecuador and the night belongs to Enner Valencia.”
Enner Valancia nets but the referee’s whistle had long gone after Antonio V charged a clearance down with a hand or two.
Antonio Valencia with an illegal charge down, he lays it off to Enner Valencia but is goal is chalked off.
We are now into “is there just one more chance in this?” territory for Honduras.
Dixon has been a bit snooty about this match’s “quality” but his advice to Ecuador, “get the ball into the corners and run the clock down” doesn’t exactly ooze class. Mind you, into 4 minutes stoppage time, he’s probably right.
Maynor Figueroa ends a piece of Honduran pressure with a typical 40-yarder. Not nearly as far wide as some of his efforts, though. And H are not at all out of this yet.
Both teams have played with such abandon in this game. This is both refreshing and frustrating as an England fan.
Ecuador’s Jefferson Montero booked for momentarily forgetting the maxim “pick on someone you own size” as he squares up to Costly, who is nearly Montero’s height when he’s on his knees.
Espinoza misses the target by a London postcode and then complains at Costly’s pass as if it was an entirely different Roger Espinoza who just put the ball into orbit.
Ecuador dropping deep as Honduras look for Costly at every opportunity. Dangerous by Ecuador as Costly is dangerous in the air, and its two crosses a minute at the minute.
If Boniek Garcia’s name has a ring of familiarity, it is because he is named after the great Polish player Zbigniew Boniek.
We are getting Emer Valencia’s life story as Dominguez gets treatment after a crashing Costly challenge – something else destined for the “not the last of the night” column.
According to his Wikipedia profile, Enner Valencia scored 18 goals in 23 games for Pachuca in the Mexican first division. This guy is clearly a goal machine.
Ecuador had been throwing crosses in with what used to be called gay abandon. And they just had to get one right eventually. Deserved. And not the last of the night’s fun – one way or another.
GOAL! Enner Valencia’s header via a set piece from Ayoví.
Emer Valencia heads home Ayovi’s great free-kick…and that was coming and a half.
Another disallowed goal. This time it was Espinoza who was off for his assist to Costly.
Ecuador’s Frickson Erazo heads over from eight yards out and probably says his first name to himself all the way back to his defensive position.
Bengtson gets a deflected shot which Dominguez just keeps out. That could have been awkward for the Ecuador ‘keeper.
Dominguez makes another save as the game warms up again.
A couple of feet have been put on balls and its just not as fun to watch. Antonio Valencia gets a timely booking and then sends Caicedo clear only to be tackled (fouled?) at the proverbial last-ditch. Should have gone down, and it would have been a penalty, cos refs can’t give penalties if players don’t go down. (sigh)
“Time for someone to put their foot on the ball,” claims Dixon, who must know that the first player to try that will have said foot kicked into the middle of Tuesday.
Despite evidence to the contrary, Dixon reckons that “somebody’s got to put their foot on the ball at some point.”
“There’s been no players sitting in pockets,” says Dixon, evoking a curious image. But he’s enjoying it, he can’t deny it.
Izaguirre’s personal nightmare is over, replaced by Juan Carlos Garcia, the Hondurans 54th player “on the books of Wigan.” H’s Brayan Beckeles gives Ecuador keeper Dominguez a chance to make a save “for the photos.” Second half starting as the 1st half ended. Good-o.
The BBC’s Jonathan Jurejko has described Bernardez’s free-kick as a “thronker.” And I suspect there might be a few kicks in the junkleclunks in the second half. And speaking of junkleclunks, here’s Hoddle, reckoning that Hodgson should stay – some hours after that decision…has…already…been…made. More from Hodd after the game. I’ll take your word for it, ITV.
I think that the ITV pundits are, understandably, not grasping the fact that everyone back home is kicking back with a few beers and enjoying the game for what it is.
Thought so, although its a wee bit rich for an Uruguayan (Gus Poyet) to be complaining about a game like this. Strachan defines the “W-formation” as “whump it up the pitch.” And thinks a time machine has taken him back to the 1970s. You very much know what he means. After the break, Glenn Hoddle on the England situation. Oh fuck right off…
Matt Smith is enjoying it in “a Hagler versus Hearns” sort of way and says that not all the panel agree “with the physicality of the football.” Of course, such half-time debate is a requirement, now that “updates from the England camp” are coming to an end. My money’s on Strachan enjoying it too. And Andros Townsend going “who the **** are Hagler and Hearns?”
Yep, sorry it was Bengtson. I’m always getting those two mixed up..
Honduras have had a disallowed goal on the stroke of half time. Costly I think heads the ball off the post from an offside position and Bernárdez handballs in into the net.
Costly hits the post with a header right at the end of the half and an offside Jerry Bengston punches in the rebound and COMPLAINS when the goal is disallowed, and he is booked. THe H’s are not happy.
Bernardez whumps in a terrific free-kick which is well saved by Alexander Dominguez. Bernardez looks like one of the FBI agents in “Fargo.”
Dixon suggests that Paredes hit the cross for the goal “with his laces.” No wonder it took so long to get across the goal.
Antonio Valencia is off setpieces and Montero and Ayovi’s deliveries are causing more chaos in an already chaotic Honduran defence.
Paredes does a superb job winning the ball back and goes charging down the wing. Then he is cleaned out by Figueroa in spectacular fashion.
Paredes is double-clattered for his troubles, with Izaguirre among the many culprits. The Celtic man is having a stinker.
Juan Paredes’s shot looked like bothering the target. But the deflection wrong-footed the entire defence and the ball rolled along what Geoff Boycott would call the “corridor of uncertainty” until Valencia wibbled it in just beyond the far post. Wooh.
Dixon is praising Valencia’s optimism and movement.
It’s 1-1 with Enner Valencia. The ball somehow finds its way to the far post and he was there for a tap in.
1-1 as Emer Valencia slides home a deflected cross. Blimey.
Carlo Costly scores Honduras’s first WC goal in 32 years. Route One and a mistake by Wah-Wah. You could say it was a…..n expensive error. Great left-foot finish though. And not so much against the run of play as the laws of physics.
Honduras with a Costly opener! 1-0.
27 minutes gone and Ian’s scoreline forecast is fourteen goals out. Still nearer the mark than me overall.
Roger Espinoza has a shot deflected wide, the first time Speight hasn’t appended “Wigan” to his name. And the booked Bernardez diving heads the corner wide from a really good position. Would have been pleased with that in his own box.
This is a cracking game. No one can shoot straight but it’s not stopping them from trying.
Costly has lost, or swallowed, his golf tee as he concentrates on being Honduras’s only forward outlet. Its mostly Ecuador and mostly entertaining, without much of that goalscoring chances nonsense.
Antonio Valencia has taken three corners so far, all RUBBISH…
Oh my. Enner Valencia is free on goal from a long ball but shoots over the bar.
Ecuador full-back Jorge Guagua sounds like a guitar pedal…or at least his name does. Intriguing match – so no Mexican wave yet. And Ecuador’s Emer Valencia fires wide when an Emilio Izaguirre mistake lets him in.
Costly fires nine miles wide while chewing what resembles a light blue golf tee. Might pass for cool in Central America but it’ll never catch on. “Like the top of a biro” suggests Dixon.
Costly seems to be the most active for Honduras and he seems to be affecting a tooth pick. Lee Dixon is quite preoccupied by it.
“Plenty of 1 v 1s al over the pitch,” says Dixon. “Tremendous tempo” notes Speight. Costly denied a penalty by what Dixon suggests is a refereeing phobia “once that white line is crossed.”
While we’re waiting for the next shot on goal or act of violence, let’s listen to some sound effects from the 1954 Godzilla film. You know, because of the dinosaurs.
Boniek Garcia, the most inappropriately named international player since Cape Verde’s Platini, volleys at the keeper. Then Bernardez gets the 1st yellow. Nice.
Bernárdez gets the first yellow after 6 minutes. Neither of these teams are messing around.
Crosses at either end cause more panic than is healthy. Already better than Iran Nigeria and Japan Greece combined. And no bookings yet. 5 mins gone.
Boom. A cross from Costly into the danger area but Dominguez is equal to it.
This is from Crystal Palace Park. It’s what the Victorians thought was a dinosaur.
Joe Speight reminds us that both teams had a player sent-off when they drew 2-2 in a “”””””friendly””””””” last November. What is he preparing us for??
EVERYONE MUST POST A PICTURE OF THEIR FAVOURITE DINOSAUR AND THEY MUST DO IT NOW:
Kosmoceratops, for me.
Three seconds into the match and there’s already been a foul. This game is going to be a classic.
Time of first foul, three point eight seconds.
I would, at this juncture like to express a growing irritation with pre-match huddles.
In the event of dinosaurs, I hope they are Cretaceous as that is my favourite pre-asteroid period.
Ahoy ‘hoy. This is my first late game of the World Cup and I’m oddly looking forward to getting behind the tournament’s bad guys, Honduras. I’ve always had a soft spot for them since 1982.
Two times nothing is still nothing, Mark.
And its the late shift again for the prediction king Murphy – I’m on double time for this right, Ian?
I’m not saying my predictions are dreadful but I’ve just forecast that the day after tomorrow will be Wednesday. Ian’s prediction of Honduras/Ecuador being abandoned after 27 minutes with the score at 7-7 due to dinosaurs on the pitch. These two, of course, provided the opposition which warmed England up so successfully. Here, Ecuador lost in the last minute to Switzerland, a result given an “alternative” perspective by Switzerland’s hockeying just now. While Honduras will feel fractionally better about holding France to 3-0 at the weekend.
Honduras were a popular side in the 2012 Olympics but have morphed into “dirty Honduras” for this tournament. A draw puts France through but I’m not looking to the future beyond that. Yet however bad Switzerland were, and however bad things might get tonight, any criticism will be followed – in my head – by “at least they will still be in the tournament tomorrow.” Which doesn’t seem quite right, somehow.
Enjoy the continuing “goal-fest.” Please God.
Ian began writing Twohundredpercent in May 2006. He lives in Brighton. He has also written for, amongst others, Pitch Invasion, FC Business Magazine, The Score, When Saturday Comes, Stand Against Modern Football and The Football Supporter. Ian was the first winner of the Socrates Award For Not Being Dead Yet at the 2010 NOPA awards for football bloggers.