The 200% World Cup: Switzerland vs France Live!

0 By Ian  |   The Ball  |   June 20, 2014  |     51

Nothing that happens this evening could dislodge Costa Rica from deservedly hogging tomorrow’s headlines for beating Italy a little earlier, but this evening’s match between Switzerland and France promises to be an entertaining one, as well. Both of these two teams won their opening match, so a just about guaranteed place in the next round of the competition is the prize for the winners of this match, and here are tonight’s teams:

FRANCE: Lloris (c), Debuchy, Evra, Varane, Sakho, Cabaye, Valbuena, Giroud, Benzema, Matuidi, Sissoko

SWITZERLAND: Benaglio, Lichtsteiner, Von Bergen, Inler (c), Seferovic, Xhaka, Behrami, Rodriguez, Mehmedi, Djourou, Shaqiri

So, feel free to drop by and join Ian King, Ed Carter et al for some live Friday night football. Kick-off is at eight o’clock.

You can follow Ed on Twitter by clicking here.

You can follow Ian on Twitter by clicking here.

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Ian June 20, 201410:07 pm

And that’s about that, I suppose. What an absolutely superb game, and it feels weirdly approriate that it should have taken place on a Friday evening. The players certainly seem to have been letting their hair down for the weekend.

Ted June 20, 20149:58 pm

England are out and yet, the World Cup continues.

Ian June 20, 20149:53 pm

What a magnificently ridiculous game that was. I have almost no idea what just happened.

Ted June 20, 20149:52 pm

Alas, France’s sixth goal is ruled out as the referee – Clive Thomas – blows for full time a split second beforehand. So France only win 5-2. Dismal.

Ted June 20, 20149:51 pm

Ted June 20, 20149:48 pm

The referee that day was Faultless http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austria_v_Switzerland_(1954)

Ted June 20, 20149:48 pm

Of course, Switzerland lost 5-7 to Austria in 1954.

Ted June 20, 20149:47 pm

The defending in this match has been a little on the questionable side.

Ian June 20, 20149:46 pm

5-3 would be a good final score.

5-5 would be better.

6-5 has happened before – Brazil vs Poland, in 1938.

Ted June 20, 20149:45 pm

GOAL! Xhaka scores for Switzerland this time, who are surely going to win 6-5

Ted June 20, 20149:39 pm

GOAL! Switzerland’s fightback continues after a low free-kick by Blerim Dzemaili. Who has a good name. 5-1

Ted June 20, 20149:34 pm

France, I am pleased to note, are pushing hard for this to happen. They’ve had three good efforts in the last minute.

Ted June 20, 20149:33 pm

There’s something so SATISFYING about watching a good thrashing. It does the soul good. Let’s have three or four more.

Ted June 20, 20149:32 pm

France are purring along now, this is the best performance I’ve seen from them in years and years. Sissoko makes it 5-0. Paul Pogba coming on seems to have given them second wind. Or wind. LE MISTRAL.

Sur le pont D’Avignon.

Frere Jacques.

Ian June 20, 20149:31 pm

A score like, say, France 7-0 Switzerland sounds like it should be straight out of the 1938 World Cup or something.

Ian June 20, 20149:31 pm

CINQ YOU VERY MUCH.

Ted June 20, 20149:25 pm

Senderos is at fault there, fans of Aston Villa will be relishing his partnership with rock solid Ron Vlaar next season.

Ted June 20, 20149:25 pm

Switzerland, defending beautifully now, concede a fourth. And it’s Karim Benzema. GOAL!

Ted June 20, 20149:20 pm

not to mention irresponsible.

Ted June 20, 20149:20 pm

you can’t give a child a lighter, it’s VERY dangerous.

Ian June 20, 20149:19 pm

Needs a light.

Ted June 20, 20149:18 pm

Lord, that photograph is making me laugh

Ian June 20, 20149:18 pm

Pres-que quatre pour La France, la.

(I’ll be quiet)

Ted June 20, 20149:18 pm

Ian June 20, 20149:16 pm

Good god. I had to go back and change that about four times, and it’s probably STILL wrong.

Ian June 20, 20149:14 pm

Nous avons recommence avec la deuxieme demie. La France attaque de gauche a droit. Ils portent les maillots blancs, les shorts bleu et les chausettes blanches.

Just practicing.

Ted June 20, 20149:13 pm

I think it’s possible that Olivier Giroud’s haircut is the result of a bet. Which he SURELY lost.

Ted June 20, 20149:12 pm

Ted June 20, 20149:06 pm

I could go an episode of Wattoo Wattoo tonight.

Ian June 20, 20149:02 pm

If you’re not careful, I’ll embed another episode of Wattoo Wattoo here.

Ted June 20, 20148:51 pm

I think we should dedicate the next 45 minutes to Scenes From French Life.

Ian June 20, 20148:48 pm

Un, deux, trois.

Very easy for France, that first half.

Ted June 20, 20148:47 pm

HALF TIME: France 119-0 Switzerland.

Ted June 20, 20148:44 pm

Ted June 20, 20148:41 pm

Switzerland were again getting a foothold in the game so it was inevitable that France would score. Giroud plays Valbuena in and it’s 3-0. D’habitude.

Ted June 20, 20148:39 pm

Ted June 20, 20148:33 pm

This match is now turning into a rich seam of farce. Benzema becomes the first man to miss a penalty kick at this World Cup, only for Yohan Cabaye to expansively volley the rebound into the frame of the goal when a tap-in would do.

Ted June 20, 20148:31 pm

Switzerland are getting back into the game, though. And as I type that, France get a penalty. Deep analysis, yet again.

Ted June 20, 20148:30 pm

Xherdan Shaqiri just opportunistically followed up a long range shot which Loris parried. He then proceeded to slice it pitifully wide, thus causing gales of laughter in the stands.

Ian June 20, 20148:29 pm

Ted June 20, 20148:27 pm

Switzerland just score the most offside goal in some time. Meanwhile, people wear cheese on their heads.

Ted June 20, 20148:19 pm

Benzema looking sulky as he has not yet scored. French players really don’t DO teamwork, do they?

Ted June 20, 20148:18 pm

Actually, this is pretty funny. 20 seconds later and Matuidi has scored. 2-0 to France. Zut alors.

Ian June 20, 20148:17 pm

GOAL! AND ANOTHER ONE!

Ted June 20, 20148:17 pm

MATOOOODIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Ted June 20, 20148:17 pm

Although to be fair to Oliver Giroud, he just headed a goal right off his face into the goal. 1-0 to France. Allez.

Ted June 20, 20148:16 pm

GIROOOOOO…

Ian June 20, 20148:14 pm

I am.. no, wait, WHAT?

Ted June 20, 20148:11 pm

This match is like Arsenal B versus Arsenal C

Ted June 20, 20148:09 pm

Phillippe Senderos is about to come on for a Swiss man who is full of holes. This is bad news for France, as it will make Switzerland’s defence completely impenetrable.

Mark June 20, 20148:07 pm

Matterface: “The last three games between Switzerland and France have all been draws…just three goals between them.” That’s not possible, is it?

Ted June 20, 20148:06 pm

BENZEMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH…

Ted June 20, 20148:06 pm

For tonight’s blog I think I will commentate on shots in the way that TV commentators do. I will start thusly:

Ted June 20, 20148:04 pm

Tante Pis.

Ian June 20, 20148:03 pm

I didn’t even consider how very clever I was for linking “off-piste” with a Switzerland match, there.

Ted June 20, 20148:01 pm

So yeah, anyway, I think I’ve started lactating.

Ted June 20, 20148:01 pm

I’m all in favour for going off-piste at all times. It’s only bloody FOOTBALL, after all.

Ian June 20, 20147:59 pm

Are we going off-piste this evening? I want to go off-piste this evening.

I missed the bloody Marseillaise this evening. We’re going to spin back on the PVR and watch it in a bit. I may even stand and salute for it.

Ted June 20, 20147:56 pm

I think the word for that, is “rousing”

Ted June 20, 20147:55 pm

The Swiss are about to crash and burn in this Battle Of The Anthems.

Ted June 20, 20147:55 pm

OPEN WIDE FOR SOME SOCCER

Ian

Ian began writing Twohundredpercent in May 2006. He lives in Brighton. He has also written for, amongst others, Pitch Invasion, FC Business Magazine, The Score, When Saturday Comes, Stand Against Modern Football and The Football Supporter. Ian was the first winner of the Socrates Award For Not Being Dead Yet at the 2010 NOPA awards for football bloggers.

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