Why We Deserve Better Than Alan Green

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73 Responses

  1. Rob Bernard says:

    It’s rumoured that Mark Saggers left the station to join Talksport, where he does an excellent job, because of Green.

  2. Dave says:

    5Live continue to labour under the misapprehension that Alan Green is in fact ‘Greeny’, a man who fans know like, respect and empathise with. It’s a longer-lasting version of the same problem you can see with their ludicrous notion that Lovejoy is someone who has any opinion or talent of note, and the Spoony could be considered authoritative.

  3. John says:

    Self opinionated, self important and thouroughly irritating.
    Horrible bloke, a real “turn off” for me in every and all respects.

  4. Martin says:

    This irritating little man is the ONLY reason I no longer listen to Radio 5 Live commentary.

    Until the BBC do something about him, they will continue to hemorrhage listeners at an alarming rate.

  5. lenny says:

    Couldn’t agree more with your piece (or for that matter with John). Alan Green has outgrown his usefullness and should not be farmed out to the radio home of the self opinionated, self important and thoroughly irritating bores namely Talksport

  6. Steve says:

    Have to agree with all the above. I want professional commentary, not someone going off on one and missing the actual action.

    A real shame that Graham Taylor got bumped too, as he shows far more insight than most – why back Green against a former England manager with bags of insight?

    Listening to Alan Green, TalkSport doesn’t seem so bad in comparison.

  7. Dave says:

    Agree with all of the above. I am no longer willing to listen to anything with which he is involved. Not sure why the BBC allows him to promote himself to the detriment of listener enjoyment. Also, slightly off topic, who else feels patronised by the non-live commentary on the MOTD highlights,……..just seconds remain, I wonder if Chelsea can maintain their 100% record by scoring right at the end of the game….oh, they have!

  8. Harvey says:

    I switched to Talksport when Mark Saggers left Five Live….and d’you what….I’ve started to enjoy listening to the radio again. Try the Saturday or Sunday breakfast programme from 8am till midday. And the midweek even show isnt bad either. Dont know who’s running Five Live, but they clearly know nothing about sport….

  9. bob smith says:

    alan green is an unproffesional, oppinionated, idiot, hes a blatent liverpool supporter and is biast its about time we stoped listening to this fool.

  10. Slightly dissagree, if only because there is no one else really outstanding covering English Football. There is maybe a bigger issue that in the run up to the World Cup, R5L’s coverage does sound a bit tired & dated.

    By the way, for my money the best radio comentator in the country is Radeo Scotland’s David Begg, none of your 22.5 minutes a half for anyone comentating on Radio Scotland.

  11. Albert Ross says:

    I’ve not been a fan of Alan Green for a long time now, and I’m even less of a fan of him doing 606 (which to be fair I only listened to at all last season because of Danny Baker doing the Tuesday slot) where he is rapidly becoming a parody of himself – deliberately misunderstanding points in order to stir up arguments and rubbishing those who have called in as often as not, based on what I heard over the weekend. It seems to becoming an increasing problem on 5 Live at the minute, listening to Sportsweek via podcast earlier I was struck by how Garry Richardson’s “I’m the Jeremy Paxman of Sport” schtick is sounding more and more tired, especially when he’s asking questions which no-one in their right mind would expect the likes of say Max Mosley to answer simply because of the danger of prejudicing matters; it’s no longer pressing and insightful, it’s dull dull dull….

    As for who would follow – who knows? Football is however being covered in more places and by more people than ever before – pretty much every FL side offers full match commentaries on the website (for a fee of course), local radio stations are picking up rights lower down the tree as well, so there should be no problem finding talent. I would suggest that John Murray seems to becoming the heir apparent at the moment – I at least find him far more palatable than the hectoring Alan Green.

  12. ejh says:

    It’s interesting to see 606 invokerd because After Danny Baker was thrown off that programme years ago, the BBC witlessly replaced him with people like Richard Littlejohn, apparently unable to see the huge difference between somebody who, becaue they had a lot of opinions, often provoked, and somebody who provoked as a matter of course.

    Every so often, there’s a big fuss because somebody on the radio or telly, perhaps in the Gaunty mould, goes too far and ends up losing their job. I almost always have the same response, which is that the people who employed them precisely because they were provocative should lose their jobs too. Oddly, this hardly ever happens.

  13. Slow news week this week? Yes, Green is a **** but aren’t there many greater issues more worthy of 200% contemplation than this trifling buffoon. That said, Mike Sewell really should be given his chance.

  14. Mark Murphy says:

    Damon,

    You’re right. But I think 200% has contemplated them all- or shortly will.

    I was just writing a few words on the trifling buffoon as part of my therapy – every time I hear him do something like the incident with Graham Taylor, I think my head will explode if I don’t get to a keyboard in time.

    And LAST NIGHT, he lambasted the match officials for missing the “fact” that Arsenal’s second goal was “clearly offside.” And whaddya know? It was onside but should have been disallowed for a blatant handball which Green…missed.

    Sorry, Damon, my therapy again.

  15. Lequack says:

    I totally agree with everything that has been said in this post.

    The main problem that I can see is that Alan Green is constantly trying to be the voice of the average fan. By this, we end up with a borish commentary about referring errors and how what is on offer is simply dross.

    Green never offers any insight and, as pointed out, often gives the impression that he’s not actually following the action.

    All in all, he manages to offer the same recurring one liners that we hear from football fans(most of which don’t have a clue about the game itself) across the depth and breadth of the country. It’s by providing a voice to these, let’s call them what they are, morons, that has made 5Live unlistenable.

    On a different but related note: One of my highlights of last season was when a Liverpool fan called 606 with Danny Baker to complain about the referee. Danny gave him about 30 seconds before pointing out that this was boring and that he didn’t want to listen to him before switching him off. If only they could do that more often as there are far more interesting stories in the world of football than whether Rooney was onside or not.

  16. David Howell says:

    I’ve done very occasional commentary at university for sporting occasions (including the European Championships in Ultimate [Frisbee] in 2007, when it took place on the university’s sports complex) and although I never rated myself as a particularly good commentator, as long as Alan Green has a job I start to wonder if I should be working in radio too.

  17. Damon says:

    Sorry Mark, I know what you mean. Start the campaign for Sewell. Green Out.

  18. mike wilce says:

    He should be repatriated to wherever he came from… I used to like him, however, since his rise to stardom status he has become a really boring old hack..still refuses to admit his love for everything that comes out of Anfield..a breeding ground for most things foreign. He now totally lacks objectivity…and I as a licence payer who is unable to afford Sky.. hope he get’s moved on to comentate on Linfield v Colraine and the like…..

  19. Great blog post and thank you for saving me the time, trouble and mental torture of trying to put into words how Alan Green’s commentaries make me feel. He is an idiot and should be relieved of his duties immediately.

    Maybe Notts County can hire him to do their exclusive commentaries?

    There are plenty of decent commentators on 5Live. I know that because I DON’T remember their names, which is how it should be, just like referees.

  20. GeeDee says:

    Alan Green has an entry in Michael Henderson’s recently published ’50 People Who Fouled Up Football’.

    Quoting the author…
    “There is no joy in English football today, and little dignity. The game is richer to the tune of many billions, yet it is poorer in spirit… Football has been shamed by people who do not hold its best interests at heart.”

    Alan Green is described as ‘a man who speaks almost exclusively in capital letters’.

  21. david says:

    Alan Green is one of the best things about the BBC i’m not surprised about the Graham Taylor incident listening to that boring clueless idiot who can’t pronounce players name would drive me to insanity, he and David Pleat should never be allowed to commentate..VIVA ALAN GREEN

  22. PTFCoventry says:

    Did anyon else listen to Five Live’s 606 show on Saturday 5th Decmber 2009.I couldn’t believe my ears when Mr Green asked a Manchester City fan why she didn’t ” put her two boys down at birth” when she informed him that they were Manchester United fans.This proves to me that Mr Green is nothing more than an ignoramus. Why do the BBC put up with this racist bigot.I am a taxi driver and rely on Five Live for commentry on football matches. Unfotunatly when Mr Green is commentating I have no choice but to listen to any other radio station ( sometimes it’s so bad that I listen to Gardening Question Time on rado 4). On a serious note though I use to look forward to listening to England games on radio 5 but for a long time now Mr Green has made it a challenge to listen to. His commentry is nothing more than rant filled with naff boring jokes, but worse than thatr Green is like a poisonous puff adder especially when commentating anytime David Beckham is playing for England. I could of started this blog with a bigotted rant and just called him a “W**k Stain” but I have tried construtive critism and I feel I have been more than fair. I will now sum it up BBC get rid he’s a wrong un.

  23. Matt says:

    I genuinely hate this man with a passion. How he can dismiss callers at a whim when they dare question him about his pro-Liverpool leaning is shocking! He hero worships Gerrard, case in point no longer than half an hour ago during the Liverpool home defeat to Arsenal “How dare N’Gog get in the way of Gerrard!?”. Furthermore, on the 05 December 606 during a conversation with a Newcastle fan, discussing Liverpool’s 5-1 win last season, the Newcastle fan mentioned the game and rather than taking a neutral perspective of “what a great game/performance” Green spurts out “WHAT A GREAT WIN THAT WAS!”, confirming the long-held suspicion that he is a Liverpool fan. He is free to support whoever he wants, but I don’t understand how he can continually get away with being so biased in his ‘analysis’.

    I don’t understand how the BBC can get away with having Liverpool fans or past players in the primary positions of football coverage. For the last few years now in the Merseyside derby listeners have to contend with Green coupled with Mark Lawrenson, followed up by Alan Hansen on MOTD or MOTD2. Again, with the Man Utd-Liverpool games it is always Green who commentates, usually supported by Lawrenson, and I cannot stand to listen to his ramblings during these games. How about a bit of balance? Why does Green automatically get the pick of the top games? How about everytime he offends/annoys/dismisses his listeners the BBC take the example of referees who have poor performances – relegate him to the Football League show for a fortnight so he can see how grateful he should be for being in such a privellaged position as to be paid to watch football for a living!

    He is so quick to offer his ‘divine’ opinion on all aspects of the game – most of which are pathetically opinionated – but whenever he is questioned or challenged on his favouritism he simply disconnects them!! I personally do not care how bored/annoyed/appalled/disappointed Green is with whatever element of the game or atmosphere he has chosen to pick up on – I tune in to listen to commentary of the game and professional analysis, not this spoilt, deluded little ‘man’ litter the airwaves with his horrible, horrible ramblings.

  24. Pete M says:

    I thought I was alone in my frustration at listening to Alan “The T***” Green. I now turnover as soon as the muppet comes on. Some of the great BBC commentators who have preceeded him must be turning in the proverbial.
    He just does not have any understanding of football.

    Is there a website or blog one can sign up for to get the BBC to get him removed.

    regards

    Pete M

  25. George says:

    Alan Green is a clever man. He infuriates those of the public with brains because he is an idiot. He charms the terrace tossers because he is one of them. He hates referees because he is from a part of the world the despises any form of authority. Alan Green should be removed from any form of broadcasting because he is a danger to the free thinking of young people.

  26. Gavino says:

    I’ve come to this post late but am in agreement with many of your points. He seems to believe that the listeners are tuning in to listen to him rather than listen to the game. For me John Murray should be getting a larger share of the bigger games in the run up to the World Cup – he commentates with a smile on his face rather than bile in his belly

    But what has happened to Alan Green? He seems to have gone missing from the Schedule recently?

  27. Andy says:

    I really enjoyed reading this – I was interested in the insights from ‘behind the scenes’ on R5. I missed the original story altogether – I was listening to AV vs ManU this evening on R5, thinking how irritating Robbie Savage is and dreading that it would be him and alan Green on commentary… then I realise that I’ve not heard anything of the abysmal Green for a long time (I stopped listening the R5 mainly because of him).

    Agree with most of the above, and thanks for an interesting article – but do we know if he has been sidelined in recent weeks (I’ve heard Graham Taylor, for example).

  28. Andy says:

    sorry – now I just saw Gavino’s comments…

  29. robbo says:

    green is the irriting little middle class twat at school who crap at football but think he knows everything and gobs off repeatedly to cover his lack of self esteem . usually those kids get a right royal pasting invloving sevearl kicks to the head and groin . I will willingly perform the task but i suspect im a long way down the queue

  30. John Bateman says:

    Green is without doubt the most annoying man on the radio. Of his many flaws I think the the stand-out one is an almost total self-indulgence. His co-commentators must dread sharing the microphone with him.
    And he’s a fat b**tard.
    (Mind you, so s the legend that is Danny Baker but you can forgive him anything.)

  31. DENIS JORDAN says:

    Couldnt agree more another example of BBC losing the plot in terms of
    over indulging its “star” presenters
    I would suggest replacing Mr Green with
    1 A series of taped “greenisms” which can be played at the touch of a button
    2 The GO COMPARE guy from the advert
    3 Mr Cadburys Parrott
    4 A monkey with a kazoo

    Its a great job if repected and done well. Hes a pub bore.

  32. Hammersman says:

    Is Alan Green now (nigh) going to stop saying ‘Game Over’ when the match is barely half over ? His stupid arrogant pomposity really annoys me. He is a fat man who has no active experience of professional football yet he promotes himself as the ‘voice of football’ . Does anybody else agree he is an objectionable idiot ?
    PS I posted this on the Beeb 606 site and surprise surprise they took it down as being offensive. Of course there is nothing offensive about racist remarks about Ji Sun Park and Eric Djemba Djemba this man has made.

  33. Hammersman says:

    In the above post I was referring to his declaration that ManU were in the semi-final when their 3rd goal went in against Bayern. He is a complete imbecile

  34. Chris Ashton says:

    Surely, singing a sarcastic song during the Portsmouth v Spurs semi must spell the end for infuriating, arrogant idiotic ‘Greeny’. Who does he think he is – the star of the show? It was a football match not a variety show. I was trying to listen and needed a commentary, not the monotonous and meaningless repetition of comments about the pitch and other irrelevant babble screamed in an overloud whining tone. Oh how I miss the likes of Bill McLaren, Peter O’Sullevan, Harry Carpenter who always had something pithy to say and were at least amusing and on point.
    Let Graham Taylor get on with it – he can talk with authority. By the way Graham, Greeny does say some blisteringly stupid things!

  35. chris kelly says:

    Self-righteous, among other things, that what alan green is..
    the more people complain to the bbc the better, http://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/homepage/

    WHAT A LOSER .

  36. Malcolm says:

    Along with that annoying 5Live Drive Peter Allen, Green should not be allowed on 5Live. Ironically he would be better suited to Talkshite Radio, then get Saggers back on the Beeb.

    I also cannot stand him to the extent that I have given up any 5Live broadcast with him on it. Be gone you wretched toad!

  37. Alan J Berry says:

    Tend to agree with most sentiments on Alan Green.I will never forget or forgive Greens outrageous commentary a number of seasons ago. Man United beat Liverpool 1-0 with a Rio Ferdinand last minute winner at Old Trafford.Having endured 90 minutes of verbal abuse directed at Gary Neville and his family by the Liverpool suporters Green had the temerity to condemn Neville for kissing his shirt badge after the winner in front of the Liverpool supporters.He failed to acknowledge the quality of the goal and continued to berate Neville for his actions.After 90 minutes of insult who wouldn’t enjoy the moment of triumph in such circumstances?

  38. TOM GIBSON says:

    I HAVE LOST COUNT OF THE NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE STARTED TO CELEBRATE A GOAL, THANKS TO GREENS COMMENTARY GOING INTO EXCITEMENT OVERDRIVE,ONLY TO FIND THAT NOTHING HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED APART FROM GREEN BURSTING A BLOOD VESSEL OVER A HALF CHANCE.

  39. Morris says:

    I started a facebook page about the dispicable Alan Green. Link Below

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=121942727835256&v=info#!/group.php?gid=121942727835256&v=info

  40. Chris Litherland says:

    I cannot believe his lack of understanding of the game. Having spend the past year in a professional football club (commercial side unfortunately) I have come to recognise the great discrepancies between fans and managers’ views.
    Add this ignorance to a thoroughly unpleasant personality it is difficult to see just what the Beeb sees in him

  41. Christine parkman says:

    I hate this guy. Why the BBC keep him I do not know. He is a bigoted pain in the backside. Hopeless trying to follow a match that he is “commentating” on. My son phoned his talk show one sat. My son wanted to talk about our team, Torquay United. Green was not in the least bit intrested as my son was not talking about a premiership club or, indeed, Liverpool FC. Get him off my radio ASAP

  42. Michael says:

    I’ve been tolerant of Alan Green and his opinionated rants for long enough. He is extremely arrogant and presumptuous, and clearly has a secret belief that he is god’s gift to football commentary. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s a paid up Orangeman either.

  43. Grump says:

    Nowt wrong with him. Speaks his mind. Provokes. But gets lambasted because he does not conform to the modern PC conformist ninny generation. No wonder the English can’t win anything these days. I don’t agree with all he says, no. But I also don’t see why we have to put up with the stereotypic. We need more Alan Green’s confronting each other, not goody-goody yes-folk. Also shows what a spoilt brat Fergie is sometimes if he can’t put up with someone standing up to him – and I’m a United fan!

  44. Tom Barr says:

    Couldn’t agree more. He’s no more a commentator than I am. He’s opinionated, self absorbed and I’m not sure he even likes football. He’s not that clever as he always telling the listerner after a quip that”…I’m being ironic.” If he was being ironic we would know. I listen to 5 live a lot during a season because I can keep up to date with the games and not vegitate whilst watching SKY and I quite often will turn off the radio when he’s on. I particulalry dislike the way hew personalises criticisms “….. Nani, your no Ronaldo, son”. I can’t understand why the BBC keep him on, to use one his stock phrases “….he’s awful”

  45. Matlock Bob says:

    This man is really not fit to be employed in the same job held by the late, great Peter Jones and Bryon Butler. Those gentlemen commentated and told you what was happening on the pitch. They usually had an ex-player with them to offer opinion and, in many cases, knowledge of the game that only an ex-player can offer.

    In a book called 50 years of Sports Report, Green actually says “A commentator on radio must deliver the ‘whole picture’, not merely describing the game itself but what’s happening around and because of it”. In reality Green thinks it is all about him and quite frankly, he is a disgrace, or to use one of his favourite expressions “woeful”.

  46. Neil says:

    Couldn’t agree more with the majority of what’s already been said. I never thought there was a man who hated Manchester United as much as I do, but we have it in Alan Green. His personal feelings should be kept to himself as a commentator he is supposed to give an impartial view. My heart goes out to anybody who can only rely on the radio for football commentaries such as the visually impaired, if Alan Green is the best the BBC can offer.

  47. Tony says:

    Green’s constant barracking and over reaction to refereeing, player’s behaviour and whinging about his own personal circumstances are just plain tedious. Combined with a really poor understanding of team play, formations and tactics make it
    his commentary’s simply impossible to listen to. He ruins the game for me.

    Dump the Chump.

  48. Habler says:

    I had a break of listening to games between 1998 and 2006 and the change in him from then was clear. Instead of the opinionated commentary we got back then we just have a nasty bitter man who constantly moans about referees. Then he has the brass neck to moan about his job being sent all over Europe and Britain to commentate on football games, i mean you would think he was a chimney sweep.

    Its impossible to gauge the tactics of either team when hes commentating as he rarely if ever mentions it, again prefering to winge about players ‘antics’ or incompetant refs.

  49. Brian says:

    Agree with most already said above. To think that he started as an understudy to the late, great Peter Jones. If he had any humility he would just sit and listen to recordings of the great man. One particular gripe I have at the moment (although he is not alone in this) is his comments “will you just look at that?”, well the point is Mr Green your audience is listening on the radio……I don’t think I need to explain any further…..

  50. Favourite1 says:

    We live in a democracy but the venom in alan green’s critical,often hurtful commentary towards certain,particularly black players, is legendary. i hear hatred in his voice re: ashley cole,rio ferdinand,glen johnson,shaun wright phillips,malouda,drogba,ngog,babel…..the list goes on.
    the beeb should at least pair
    him up with a fellow black summariser at each game rather than with mark lawrenson who merely stokes alan greens bigoted flames.

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