Say Hi-Hi To Your Mom


Ian began writing Twohundredpercent in May 2006. He lives in Brighton. He has also written for, amongst others, Pitch Invasion, FC Business Magazine, The Score, When Saturday Comes, Stand Against Modern Football and The Football Supporter. Ian was the first winner of the Socrates Award For Not Being Dead Yet at the 2010 NOPA awards for football bloggers.

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5 Responses

  1. colin says:

    I’ve played at Cathkin Park. It looked fully worse then than it does in those pictures. I seem to remember the ball getting held up in some dandelions.

    A bit of a coincidence, given your Accrington Stanley mention the other day, was that Third Lanark had a player called Joe McInnes who scored 88 goals in one season in the early 60s. He also played for Stanley, who also promptly folded. The big fucking jinx.

    (By the way, my old man assures me that the fans who switched alliegance to Pollock Juniors mostly lasted about a fortnight.)

    Anyway, that’s not what I was meaning to say when I clicked …

    The problem with promotion and relegation from the third division is that it doesn’t make any sense in the wider context of the Scottish game.

    We’ve got no nationwide subordinate league, as with the Conference.

    For example, the Highland League is significantly higher than the Juniors in the north and there’s also a Senior league in the East and South (with Juniors below them), but the Junior leagues are the next step down elsewhere, such as in Ayrshire.

    To complicate matters further, there’s a bewildering array of Junior leagues arranged into various districts within three different regions – North, East and West. They only meet each other in the cup.

    By the time you take into account the requirement for a certain level of facilities prior to full league membership, you wouldn’t be promoting people on merit, so much as on the basis that they did okay and happened to come from the same part of the country as the worst team in the senior leagues.

    If East Stirlingshire were to be hoofed, you would have to ignore the Senior leagues to even think of taking someone from the Juniors. Even then, they would be heading for the Whyte & Mackay East Region Super League (I’m not making these up) while someone like Pollok (ignoring the fact that Auchinleck Talbot more often than not give them a paddling, anyway) would play in the West.

  2. twohundredpercent says:

    As is my understanding, the Scottish League is being asked to consider re-election rather than automatic promotion and relegation – presumably because of the bewildering array of leagues that sit “under” Division Three.

    For those of you reading these comments that don’t know what I’m talking about, this means that the bottom couple of clubs in the Scottish League and, say, the winners of each of the Scottish Junior Leagues and the Highland League would be put before a vote by all the other clubs on the Scottish League, and the one with the highest number of votes would play in the Scottish League the year afterwards.

    The system was finally abandonned in England in 1987 in favour of automatic promotion and relegation from the Conference in 1987. Most of the time, the adage that “turkeys don’t vote for Christmas” held true, but occasionally the League got it gloriously wrong. In 1960, Gateshead had to apply for re-election for the first time having finished third bottom on the League and were replaced by Peterborough. In 1977, Workington were (perhaps rightfully) voted out, but their replacements, Wigan, had only finished 6th in the Northern Premier League the season before.

    In this day and age, introducing such a system seems somewhat anachronistic. Play-offs would seem to be the obvious solution to this problem, but whether the Scottish League clubs would vote for it is obviously questionable.

  3. colin says:

    Ah, I see.

    We’ve had election to the SFL relatively recently, but it has always been expansion (Inverness CT, Ross County, Peterhead, Elgin) or replacing a defunct former member (Gretna, Airdie Utd) rather than throwing an existing SFL club in for eviction.

    To be perfectly honest, I suspect we’ve just got too many clubs for a country of this size.

  4. elephantcom says:

    Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site! Keep up the good work. Thanks.

  5. G Edwards says:

    I have been researching a childhood memory [with no success] of watching a televised live match reaturing Third Lanark. The broadcast of the game was an experiment and took place sometime around the late 50’s / early 60’s. Is my memory correct?

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