Monthly Archive: June 2010

World Cup 2010: Netherlands 1-0 Japan 1

World Cup 2010: Netherlands 1-0 Japan

Patrick Viera’s role on ITV’s panel is increasingly to give reassurance to the others that France are worse than England, which should be money for old rope but, after the Algeria game, isn’t. Attempts...

World Cup 2010: Ghana 1-1 Australia 0

World Cup 2010: Ghana 1-1 Australia

This game sees us pass the halfway point of the group stages. By the end of Friday, we’ll have lost half of the teams, and we’ll know the shape of the knockout stages. Once...

World Cup 2010: England 0-0 Algeria 10

World Cup 2010: England 0-0 Algeria

It would appear that Wayne Rooney is of the opinion that the England football team (and, especially upon this evening, his performance in particular) is worthy of the undying support of the English people...

World Cup 2010: Germany 0-1 Serbia 1

World Cup 2010: Germany 0-1 Serbia

The German side who sparked this World Cup into life with their 4-0 win over Australia, a German side so effortlessly impressive that they brought all the very best paranoid and stereotypical utterances about “Ze Germans” out of the normally *cough* very reserved and neutral British press, were back in action today. But you’d have had to be a very brave man, or a very proud Serb, to have seen this. In fact, although Serbia were much improved on their opening performance against Ghana, it’s difficult to believe it happened.

World Cup 2010: France 0-2 Mexico 0

World Cup 2010: France 0-2 Mexico

It’s hotting up, you know. Two terrifically entertaining matches this afternoon in South Africa have continued the 2010 World Cup’s awakening from slumber, and this evening France play Mexico in Group A. France’s advancement...

World Cup 2010: Greece 2-1 Nigeria 0

World Cup 2010: Greece 2-1 Nigeria

Finally the tournament has come to life. In the twenty four hours before this game we’ve had some fine football played by Switzerland, Uruguay and Argentina, some drama and a proper upset in the first of thesse games. We’ve even ahd some controversy going on off-the-field too. If we needed a reminder that behind this celebration of world football lies a grubby marketing exercise then there’s the faintly scandalous decision to prosecute two of the women involved in Monday’s ambush marketing stunt (which seemed, in any case, not to break any of FIFA’s strict rules) at the Holland v Denmark game. If you feel the need to tie your World Cup into a deal for an exclusive “official beer”, let alone one that tastes like muck, then you deserve to have your tournament ambush marketed. I applaud it and encourage it, even if I don’t applaud or encourage media pundits cashing in on the exercise.

World Cup 2010: Argentina 4-1 South Korea 1

World Cup 2010: Argentina 4-1 South Korea

“There’s enough material here for an entire conference,” said the psychiatrist in the Fawlty Towers episode entitled, funnily enough, ‘The Psychiatrist.’ Argentine coach Diego Armando Maradona, we are told, is a modern day Basil...

Mungo in Africa, part 3 0

Mungo in Africa, part 3

As the second group matches begin, results start to become critical and that calls for creative and incisive punditry from the inhabitants of the television studios. Sadly, Clack TV have appointed Mungo McCrackas, the Biblically-useless centre forward from Heart of Clachmaninshire FC. That’s not to say he doesn’t have some ideas of his own to put the story across, but it’s growing increasingly apparent to anchor Ron Bongo that Mungo might be an idiot.

World Cup 2010: Honduras 0-1 Chile 1

World Cup 2010: Honduras 0-1 Chile

ITV 1 gives twenty minutes introduction time to this 12.30 kick-off. But its 12.26 before the actual game it self is addressed, the rest being about England, who aren’t playing for another 55 hours....

World Cup 2010: South Africa 0-3 Uruguay 0

World Cup 2010: South Africa 0-3 Uruguay

Today is National Youth Day in South Africa. It marks the anniversary of the start of the 1976 Soweto riots, which began with the death of twenty-three people after the police opened fire on...

World Cup 2010: Spain 0-1 Switzerland 5

World Cup 2010: Spain 0-1 Switzerland

The important thing with covering a World Cup which has been so slow to start as this one is, basically, to at least try and keep yourself entertained. As such, our intrepid crayon-tester and some-time football journalist Dotmund had something of an ‘episode’ and decided to file his report of the Group H match between the reigning European Champions Spain and Switzerland in handwritten form. With sketches. He hopes this novel approach will become the paradigm for all sports reporting in this country. We are just glad that it keeps him off the streets.

Mungo in Africa, part 2 0

Mungo in Africa, part 2

In the latest update from the steel cage death match which is the Clack TV World Cup studio, Glasgow Paisley manager Henny Jings lets his international counterparts have it with both barrels. However, Mungo McCrackas is working on a more eloquent solution yet. Could this be just what is needed to blow the dust away and get the 2010 World Cup into a new gear? Who knows, Mungo is particularly resourceful.

World Cup 2010: Brazil 2-1 North Korea 2

World Cup 2010: Brazil 2-1 North Korea

It’s easy to disguise ignorance with mockery, and so it seems with this evening’s intriguing match between Brazil and North Korea. Before the match, ITV treats us to as many cliches about North Korea...