Monthly Archive: June 2010

The England Obituary, Part 1: Do England Need An English Manager? 5

The England Obituary, Part 1: Do England Need An English Manager?

To fill the void caused by the World Cup rest days before the quarter-finals (I’ve never fully worked out if the rest is for us or them), over the next two days here on Twohundredpercent our writers have been looking at where they thought it all went wrong for England this summer. This will be immediately followed by shooting some fish in a barrel. First up is Dotmund, wondering whether or not things would or could have been better with an English coach.

World Cup 2010: Spain 1-0 Portugal 5

World Cup 2010: Spain 1-0 Portugal

I’m not sure what channel I’m watching but it’s not one of ours. The pundits sound refreshing. There’s a Scotsman who looks a bit like Hansen but uses verbs and sounds interested. In fact,...

At Last, The Penalty Shoot-Out Arrives 6

At Last, The Penalty Shoot-Out Arrives

Although so many of the normal constituents of a World Cup finals – complaints about the ball, Sepp Blatter contradicting himself in public, Cristiano Ronaldo’s pained expression & enormous Adam’s apple combo, England getting...

World Cup 2010: Brazil 3-0 Chile 4

World Cup 2010: Brazil 3-0 Chile

World Cup Television Clichés 101: Germany are efficient, the Netherlands play “total football”, Spain are under-achievers and Brazil play to a samba rhythm. One by one, the long-held preconceptions of global football are starting...

World Cup 2010: Argentina 3-1 Mexico 0

World Cup 2010: Argentina 3-1 Mexico

Even at these times of sport’s saturation of the television schedules, the endless search for a new hit sitcom goes on at apace. Yet again, instead of closely watching the game for tactical nuance or pointers for later performances, our crayon-chewing art specialist Dotmund has considered the possibility of the two – sport and sitcoms – not having to be mutually exclusive. In so doing, he has certainly proved something, although it is possibly in better taste not to consider what that might specifically be. Still, keep an eye out for new loveable characters and hilarious catchphrases that will be the talk of the office watercooler in the weeks to come.

World Cup 2010: Germany 4-1 England 21

World Cup 2010: Germany 4-1 England

There have been times over the previous four or five days or so that this afternoon’s match between Germany and England has threatened to collapse under the weight of its own hubris. England, seemingly...

World Cup 2010: United States 1-2 Ghana (aet) 1

World Cup 2010: United States 1-2 Ghana (aet)

When Ghana becamse independent in 1957, the first of the wave of sub-Saharan countries to do so in that period, there’s a nice story about then Vice-President Richard Nixon attending their Independence Day celebrations. The US were broadly supportive of countries seeking to cast of the yoke of the old European colonial powers, and a beaming Nixon was shaking hand with anyone and everyone. “How does it feel to be free?” he asked of one black man he took for a native; “I wouldn’t know sir,” the man replied, “I’m from Alabama”.

World Cup 2010: Uruguay 2-1 South Korea 1

World Cup 2010: Uruguay 2-1 South Korea

Motty would never have done it. “Uruguay are the only team at this World cup yet to concede a goal,” declares a confident Jon Champion. I don’t know what the Portuguese for “oi, hang...

World Cup 2010: Chile 1-2 Spain 1

World Cup 2010: Chile 1-2 Spain

“Not a word sung by the Spanish players, they know they have to win,” proclaims Clive Tyldesley, as the Spanish national anthem finishes. The fans must know they have to win too, because they...

World Cup 2010: Switzerland 0-0 Honduras 2

World Cup 2010: Switzerland 0-0 Honduras

The majority of eyes will be on the other match this evening between Spain and Chile, but this evening’s match between Switzerland and Honduras is, in its own way just as important. Chile and...

World Cup 2010: Portugal 0-0 Brazil 2

World Cup 2010: Portugal 0-0 Brazil

Whether or not Group G was this World Cup’s Group of Death, it appears to have taken place in 1966, at Goodison Park, with Eusebio scoring every goal. The game Lineker and co. are...