Our resident pencil wrangler Dotmund was very excited about the prospect of Uruguay playing the Netherlands. However, we at Twohundredpercent have noticed that some of his match reports during the tournament have been somewhat lacking in the factual department. As such, we sent hm off with an I-Spy fact sheet so that he could accurately record match events as they happened. This morning he returned with the results. Sadly, they left much to be desired.
Even at these times of sport’s saturation of the television schedules, the endless search for a new hit sitcom goes on at apace. Yet again, instead of closely watching the game for tactical nuance or pointers for later performances, our crayon-chewing art specialist Dotmund has considered the possibility of the two – sport and sitcoms – not having to be mutually exclusive. In so doing, he has certainly proved something, although it is possibly in better taste not to consider what that might specifically be. Still, keep an eye out for new loveable characters and hilarious catchphrases that will be the talk of the office watercooler in the weeks to come.
It’s Thursday, which means it’s time for more from the studios of Clack TV and Mungo in Africa. Today, anchorman Ron Bongo, Glasgow Paisley boss Henny Jings and Heart of Clachmaninshire’s own Mungo McCrackas get stuck in to some serious analysis of England’s progress through the group stages, with predictably insightful results.
Twelve years ago, at their own World Cup finals, France comfortably beat South Africa in their opening group game, going on to become the sixth nation to win the tournament at home. Today South Africa became the first hosts in the 80-year history of the competition to fall at the first hurdle, but their blushes were somewhat spared with this spirited display against an abject French side in their last game under Raymond Domenech. Twelve years is a long time in football.
As the second group matches begin, results start to become critical and that calls for creative and incisive punditry from the inhabitants of the television studios. Sadly, Clack TV have appointed Mungo McCrackas, the Biblically-useless centre forward from Heart of Clachmaninshire FC. That’s not to say he doesn’t have some ideas of his own to put the story across, but it’s growing increasingly apparent to anchor Ron Bongo that Mungo might be an idiot.
In the latest update from the steel cage death match which is the Clack TV World Cup studio, Glasgow Paisley manager Henny Jings lets his international counterparts have it with both barrels. However, Mungo McCrackas is working on a more eloquent solution yet. Could this be just what is needed to blow the dust away and get the 2010 World Cup into a new gear? Who knows, Mungo is particularly resourceful.
With his cycle and slowboat trip now complete, Heart of Clachmaninshire’s very own Mungo McCrackas is about to begin his holiday job: as an expert summariser on Clack TV’s World Cup panel. Busman’s Holiday or not, Mungo is determined that it is still very much a holiday, and as such has already gained 11lbs in weight and what may or may not prove to be a criminal record somewhere near the Botswanan border. Mungo in Africa will unfold as throughout the tournament. However, we guarantee there’ll be a strip at least once a week on Thursdays, no matter how much Dotmund is taking England’s stuttering form to heart.