Category: The Ball
It is a funny election where the returning officer decides who the electorate is. Technically, all administrations throw up this scenario, although it has only seemed important in recent years, purely by chance, at...
I’ve seen both of these nations in major competitions. As you may have noticed from the Slovenia-Algeria report, I saw the Slovenians at Euro 2000. The USA however, were one of the teams playing...
The German side who sparked this World Cup into life with their 4-0 win over Australia, a German side so effortlessly impressive that they brought all the very best paranoid and stereotypical utterances about “Ze Germans” out of the normally *cough* very reserved and neutral British press, were back in action today. But you’d have had to be a very brave man, or a very proud Serb, to have seen this. In fact, although Serbia were much improved on their opening performance against Ghana, it’s difficult to believe it happened.
Finally the tournament has come to life. In the twenty four hours before this game we’ve had some fine football played by Switzerland, Uruguay and Argentina, some drama and a proper upset in the first of thesse games. We’ve even ahd some controversy going on off-the-field too. If we needed a reminder that behind this celebration of world football lies a grubby marketing exercise then there’s the faintly scandalous decision to prosecute two of the women involved in Monday’s ambush marketing stunt (which seemed, in any case, not to break any of FIFA’s strict rules) at the Holland v Denmark game. If you feel the need to tie your World Cup into a deal for an exclusive “official beer”, let alone one that tastes like muck, then you deserve to have your tournament ambush marketed. I applaud it and encourage it, even if I don’t applaud or encourage media pundits cashing in on the exercise.
As the second group matches begin, results start to become critical and that calls for creative and incisive punditry from the inhabitants of the television studios. Sadly, Clack TV have appointed Mungo McCrackas, the Biblically-useless centre forward from Heart of Clachmaninshire FC. That’s not to say he doesn’t have some ideas of his own to put the story across, but it’s growing increasingly apparent to anchor Ron Bongo that Mungo might be an idiot.
The important thing with covering a World Cup which has been so slow to start as this one is, basically, to at least try and keep yourself entertained. As such, our intrepid crayon-tester and some-time football journalist Dotmund had something of an ‘episode’ and decided to file his report of the Group H match between the reigning European Champions Spain and Switzerland in handwritten form. With sketches. He hopes this novel approach will become the paradigm for all sports reporting in this country. We are just glad that it keeps him off the streets.