Author: Ted

Morris Woodman’s Tactical Chalkboard: Celtic 9

Morris Woodman’s Tactical Chalkboard: Celtic

Morris Woodman is England’s most successful football manager.  In 13 seasons in the crucible of the Zambian top flight, his team Spartak Thunderbolts are yet to lose a single game.  During last summer’s World...

Mungo S03E01 0

Mungo S03E01

The new football season is now upon us and that means the return of Shit Shot Mungo to these pages.  But for how long?  There’s a wave of meat fanaticism building up in Clachmaninshire...

Mungo 2010/11 – New Faces, part 2 0

Mungo 2010/11 – New Faces, part 2

Preparations for the new football season gather more pace with every passing day.  As this particular passing day happens to be a Thursday, we are once again able to bring you news of another...

Mungo 2010/11: New Faces, part 1 0

Mungo 2010/11: New Faces, part 1

In spite of the financial mismanagement which, conveniently, he seems to have forgotten the specific details of, Dotmund is very excited to reveal that Heart of Clachmaninshire have been busy in the transfer market...

Football Kit Design: Behind The Scenes 0

Football Kit Design: Behind The Scenes

It’s the pre-season, and as regular readers of Twohundredpercent will know, that means it’s time for our review of all of the latest kits that will be on display in league matches around the...

Mungo 2010/11 starts here! 2

Mungo 2010/11 starts here!

With the distraction of the World Cup out of the way, football clubs everywhere can get back to their normal routine.  Not least Heart of Clachmaninshire FC who, despite the baffling theft of all...

ispy_f 1

World Cup 2010: Uruguay I-Spy

Our resident pencil wrangler Dotmund was very excited about the prospect of Uruguay playing the Netherlands. However, we at Twohundredpercent have noticed that some of his match reports during the tournament have been somewhat lacking in the factual department. As such, we sent hm off with an I-Spy fact sheet so that he could accurately record match events as they happened. This morning he returned with the results. Sadly, they left much to be desired.

The England Obituary, Part 1: Do England Need An English Manager? 5

The England Obituary, Part 1: Do England Need An English Manager?

To fill the void caused by the World Cup rest days before the quarter-finals (I’ve never fully worked out if the rest is for us or them), over the next two days here on Twohundredpercent our writers have been looking at where they thought it all went wrong for England this summer. This will be immediately followed by shooting some fish in a barrel. First up is Dotmund, wondering whether or not things would or could have been better with an English coach.

World Cup 2010: Argentina 3-1 Mexico 0

World Cup 2010: Argentina 3-1 Mexico

Even at these times of sport’s saturation of the television schedules, the endless search for a new hit sitcom goes on at apace. Yet again, instead of closely watching the game for tactical nuance or pointers for later performances, our crayon-chewing art specialist Dotmund has considered the possibility of the two – sport and sitcoms – not having to be mutually exclusive. In so doing, he has certainly proved something, although it is possibly in better taste not to consider what that might specifically be. Still, keep an eye out for new loveable characters and hilarious catchphrases that will be the talk of the office watercooler in the weeks to come.

Mungo in Africa, part 5 0

Mungo in Africa, part 5

It’s Thursday, which means it’s time for more from the studios of Clack TV and Mungo in Africa. Today, anchorman Ron Bongo, Glasgow Paisley boss Henny Jings and Heart of Clachmaninshire’s own Mungo McCrackas get stuck in to some serious analysis of England’s progress through the group stages, with predictably insightful results.

World Cup 2010: South Africa 2-1 France 5

World Cup 2010: South Africa 2-1 France

Twelve years ago, at their own World Cup finals, France comfortably beat South Africa in their opening group game, going on to become the sixth nation to win the tournament at home. Today South Africa became the first hosts in the 80-year history of the competition to fall at the first hurdle, but their blushes were somewhat spared with this spirited display against an abject French side in their last game under Raymond Domenech. Twelve years is a long time in football.

World Cup 2010: Spain 2-0 Honduras 2

World Cup 2010: Spain 2-0 Honduras

The part-timers from Honduras took on the mighty European champions Spain with it all at stake: a loss for the Spanish side would see the tournament favourites eliminated at the first hurdle. What could possibly happen? Well, naturally enough, Spain won at a canter. However comfortable the performance, though, the margin of victory could yet cause some furrowed brows and frenzied abacus work come this Friday evening’s Group H deciders.

Mungo in Africa, part 4 1

Mungo in Africa, part 4

The final group games in the 2010 World Cup are imminent and results are getting critical.  Like all good television channels, Clack TV is not afraid to stick its bloody nose right in and...

World Cup 2010: Germany 0-1 Serbia 1

World Cup 2010: Germany 0-1 Serbia

The German side who sparked this World Cup into life with their 4-0 win over Australia, a German side so effortlessly impressive that they brought all the very best paranoid and stereotypical utterances about “Ze Germans” out of the normally *cough* very reserved and neutral British press, were back in action today. But you’d have had to be a very brave man, or a very proud Serb, to have seen this. In fact, although Serbia were much improved on their opening performance against Ghana, it’s difficult to believe it happened.

Mungo in Africa, part 3 0

Mungo in Africa, part 3

As the second group matches begin, results start to become critical and that calls for creative and incisive punditry from the inhabitants of the television studios. Sadly, Clack TV have appointed Mungo McCrackas, the Biblically-useless centre forward from Heart of Clachmaninshire FC. That’s not to say he doesn’t have some ideas of his own to put the story across, but it’s growing increasingly apparent to anchor Ron Bongo that Mungo might be an idiot.