Author: Ted

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The Friday Essay: Crows

With the game up in arms about what John Terry did with his pants off several years ago and how this affects his ability to play Association Football, you’d probably be expecting a bitingly...

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Mungo S03E32

This week’s happening from Clackins Park sees Sir Roddy Bulbs’ daughter put her own stamp on proceedings, laying down a marker which suggests her reign as chairman will be nothing if not identical to...

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Friday Essay: Elephants

Today, a return of Dotmund‘s usually-terrible Illustrated Friday Essay. Today, he’s picked on a really controversial and topical subject: teams with elephants on their badges. Because, and I quote, “I like elephants”. If you...

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Mungo S03E31

Thursday is here, the day that Mungo beams down once again to your home planet. This week, Sir Roddy Bulbs takes his first ever reasonable decision, only to follow it up with several more...

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Mungo S03E30

Mungo time again. This week sees Heart of Clachmaninshire’s various warring factions put aside their differences in the blithe hope that their support will save their club from almost getting relegated again. But even...

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Mungo S03E29

Revolution is in the air, and the spirit of 1968 has also reached the normally sedate surroundings of Clachmaninshire. But can people power bring down a corrupt regime before the Clackers’ inevitable final fixture...

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Mungo S03E28

With Mungo still galavanting around the tundras on a mammoth, Heart of Clachmaninshire’s unsung – better – players get a chance to shine, with inevitable consequences. Indeed, inevitable consequences are very much the order...

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Mungo S03E27

Mungo day rolls around once again. We are sorry. Dotmund, however, remains defiantly unapologetic. Click for full-size

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Friday portrait: A player who definitely exists

For reasons too wretchedly convoluted to go into here, the normally sane Brighton-supporting Dotmund has come to regard Manchester City as something of a second team. Consequently, Manchester derby day gets him all excited,...

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Mungo S03E26

It’s Mungo time again… but for how much longer? When your titular hero has formed a close personal bond with a mammoth and was last seen riding away into the sunset, it’s anyone’s guess....

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Crawley Town: why I am not celebrating

For people who come from other parts of the country, particularly in the Football League-saturated midlands and north-west of England, it might be hard to grasp the peculiar mentality which comes of supporting Brighton...

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Mungo S03E25

The big thaw at Clackins Park is finally underway, albeit one that has to have outside assistance. But a new discovery – and (another) new manager – look set to revolutionise Heart of Clachmaninshire’s...

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Mungo S03E24

The snow at The Clackins Park Colosseum still stubbornly refuses to shift, and it’s attracted the attention of the authorities who are not happy in the least. But could the brutal, heinous sanction they...

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Friday picture: Footballing tennis dads

This week’s Picture That Dotmund Did is a double whammy of art and LEARNING. As we are now in the middle of the Australian Open Tennis, your correspondent (who likes tennis so much that...

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Mungo S03E23

In this week’s visit to Heart of Clachmaninshire, the usual rubbish happens. Dotmund is responsible, blame him. Click for full-size