Author: Ted

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Friday essay: The development of goalkeeping attire

This week’s Picture That Dotmund Did concerns fashion, which is a typically hard-hitting subject for him to pick on.  Goalkeepers everywhere should sit up and take notice nevertheless, because someone has spotted what you’re...

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Mungo S03E16

After last week’s shenanigans, Heart of Clachmaninshire are looking to gain some positive press with a good display on the field.  This is not necessarily as easy as it sounds when your chairman has...

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A Picture That Dotmund Did: John W. Henry

Ah well.  It started out so positively and with such hopefulness for the future.  But it was only a matter of time before Liverpool’s new owner went all “Game 39″ on our asses.  Still,...

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Mungo S03E15

This week, Heart of Clachmaninshire try to limit the damage of their rather disastrous start to the season with varying degrees of success.  Mungo’s thoughtful gift to his fallen comrades raises squad morale, whilst...

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Mungo S03E14

The welcome distraction of a European game proves to be just too good an opportunity to make your presence felt for Mungo McCrackas to pass up. With his new £340,000 per week contract busily...

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Danny Baker

Over the past few weeks on his Saturday morning show on Radio 5 Live, it’s been growing increasingly apparent that Danny Baker’s illness-enforced absences were probably for something a little more serious than anyone...

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Mungo S03E13

Football this week has been brought to you by the number 10, the letter C and the word brinkmanship, and it’s no different at Heart of Clachmaninshire. The fallout from Mungo McCrackas’ transfer request...

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Mungo S03E12

It’s late October, which means the first frosts are on the ground, the nights are drawing in and Heart of Clachmaninshire FC are in crisis. But this year, they’ve done it in some style....

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Mungo S03E11

With the Egggate saga still rumbling on, Heart of Clachmaninshire find themselves desperately short-staffed for a cup tie this week.  Luckily for the ramshackle selection of trainees and passers-by, our hero Mungo McCrackas was...

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The Premier League First Eleven

On Monday, Ian King wrote on this very site that Liverpool’s current problems had “gone far enough to stop even being amusing to the neutral”.  Whilst there are aspects of that which, as a...

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Mungo S03E10

The Egggate scandal has completely consumed Scottish football this week, as a high-profile court case seeks to clarify whether or not Heart of Clachmaninshire’s sensational new star Eggo McCrackas really could have been born...

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Mungo S03E09

After last week’s startling egg-based development, one might have expected our heroes from Heart of Clachmaninshire FC to take a bit of a breather and settle down.  However, they are doing no such thing,...

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Mungo S03E07

Time for our weekly visit to Heart of Clachmaninshire FC, wherever the hell that is.  And it is pleasing to note that, visits of the Pontiff and unexpected displays of match-winning form from previously...

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Mungo S03E06

Club versus player loyalties will be tested this week, as all the many fans of Heart of Clachmaninshire amongst you witness Mungo McCrackas’ debut for another club.  But how will the Highland League find...