Author: Ted

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Thursday picture: Puzzle Time!

With the good name of British journalism currently hanging in the balance, by which I mean “everyone is realising that it’s as wantonly venal as we always suspected”, Twohundredpercent leaps to its aid with...

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Thursday Picture: Struck By Lightning

Dotmund has always been a fan of football manager’s excuses, and you don’t get any better excuses than from the coaches of national sides from countries with oppressive regimes. Even so, North Korea’s Kim...

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Thursday picture: Finding Mourinhos

Portuguese football’s baffling alacrity at finding young, charismatic and highly skilled coaches continues to baffle everyone in England, where Sam Allardyce remains a credible candidate for the role of national team manager. But how...

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Thursday picture: Women’s World Cup VI

On the 26th June, the sixth Women’s World Cup kicks off in Germany. It is twenty years since the tournament started, during which time the women’s game has come on significantly, particularly in terms...

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Stanley Matthews: World Saviour

It’s a question we at Twohundredpercent barely ever ask because it’s demonstrably so stupid, but – can football save the world? Although it’s not the sort of question we’d ask, it is now sadly...

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Thursday Picture: Manchester United’s Old Guard

It’s been an unusual season, but one which nevertheless has had a familiar outcome. Manchester United continue to sweep all before them in the English game, and no referee or journalist seems able to...

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Friday Picture: I Got Stripes

Tomorrow, as you probably know, is the FA Cup Final between Manchester City and Stoke City. Editorial discretion prevents Dotmund from saying who he will be supporting. However, historical facts are indiscreet things indeed...

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Mungo S03E39

It’s the long-awaited Mungo season finale… but will it be the last Mungo ever? Almost certainly not, is the answer. However, things look to be changing for both our hero and Heart of Clachmaninshire,...

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Mungo S03E38

It’s the end of the season which means today’s Mungo is the penultimate edition for a while at least, so be sure to drink it in. With Mungo incarcerated in the Tower of London...

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Mungo S03E37

Mungo time. With Heart of Clachmaninshire in their most precarious league position yet, the best thing that could possibly happen – Mungo being unavailable to play – is happily precipitated by events elsewhere. But...

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Friday picture: Vitruvian Man City

If the reason we all love sport is (as is often suggested) because of its unpredictability, then a lot of people must be in the same position as Dotmund and celebrating a new favourite...

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Mungo S03E36

What’s Mungoing on? It’s Mungo, that’s what. This week, Mungo hits upon a unique plan to retain Heart of Clachmaninshire’s top flight status and, with support from Glenn Hoddle, successfully makes everybody’s liver shut...

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Mungo S03E35

It’s another one of them lazy Mungoin’ Thursdays. This week, Mungo returns from his adventures in London full of an almost-unshakeable-for-literally-minutes footballing fervour. But could his true vocation lie elsewhere? This is normally when...

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Friday essay: Contextualising Rooneygate

Dotmund has two mottos that he lives by. The first of them pertains largely to pork pies and needn’t detain us any further here. The second is that there’s an historical precedent for virtually...

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Mungo S03E34

It’s one of those Mungo days again here on Twohundredpercent. Mungo has managed to escape the studio of Loose Women with his dignity intact, but could he have jumped out of the frying pan...