Kingstonian 9-3 Cray Wanderers – No… Really.

And it was 0-0 after half-an-hour… The Kingstonian press-box is no place for the hard-of-statistic. Even before the end of their remarkable Ryman Premier Division victory over Cray Wanderers, we’d established that Ks scored 10 and 11 in the same Amateur Cup run in the mid-1960s. Indeed, one press-box habitué was at the 10-0 victory over Callenders Athletic: “a works team… BIC now, I think… Brian Wakefield scored a penalty…and he was the goalie.” And the last time Ks had declared at nine was in 1927, against West Norwood in the Athenian League – a result they may well be celebrating in East Norwood to this day. Ks tannoy announcer, Robert Wooldridge, is one of the Ryman League’s best. And he wasn’t short of help as Ks ran up the goals. Almost as soon as someone asked “when did Ks last score seven?” Ks scored an eighth. Likewise, not long after he was asked “when did Ks last score eight?” Ks grabbed a ninth. And thanks to Robert’s excellent press-box organisation, the anal retentiveness of his press-box colleagues (myself definitely included) and some poor late finishing (Ks missed three clear-cut chances between goals eight and nine), we knew when Ks last scored seven, eight, nine, ten and eleven. I’d never seen us score nine. As we were reliving Ks goal-glut history, I could recall two sevens and eights in...

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