Scourges Of The Modern Game: Goal Music

The ball is passed out to the wing. The winger controls the ball with the outside of his foot and runs towards a full back with a look upon his face that reminds you of a rabbit stuck in front of car headlights. Momentarily, it looks as if the winger can’t remember which leg is which but this is all an act, and he jumps away from the tackle. Approaching the byline, having looked up for no more than a tenth of a second, and crosses. The centre-forward and an opposition full-back race towards the ball like athletes straining to cross the line in a sprint race, but the centre-forward gets to the ball, flicking the ball deftly across the goalkeeper and into the far corner of the net. The crowd jumps as one, grown men hugging and kissing like the winning contestants on a game show… and then “Tom Hark” blares out from the public address system. It doesn’t have to be “Tom Hark”, of course. It could just as easily be “Song 2” by Blur, “Papa’s Got A Brand New Pig Bag” or “I Feel Good”. Football and music have an occasionally fractious relationship. On the one hand, a trip to Brighton couldn’t be complete without “Sussex By The Sea” parping out over the loudspeakers as the teams come out onto the pitch and Chas & Dave...

Read More