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Day: July 2, 2009

Manchester United & Michael Owen – Together At Last?

The contents of Michael Owen’s sale brochure must have been more potent than we could ever have imagined, if the rumours doing the rounds are correct. In a move that has dropped jaws to the ground across Europe, the club most interested in signing him are… Manchester United. According to a report in “The Guardian” tonight, Owen only has to get through a medical – which in itself means that there is nothing guaranteed about this move yet – and, if the press are willing to be believed, Ickle Mike could be on his way to Old Trafford. Of course, there is a chance that this is all an elaborate hoax. At this very moment, Alex Ferguson and David Gill could be sitting on the floor in an office surrounded by empty beer cans and whisky bottles, laughing themselves stupid that so many people seem to be falling for it. Just imagine what colour Alex Ferguson’s face might be at this very moment. They may have spent the first couple of days this week plotting it, and drawing up a list with names such as Joey Barton, Jason Lee and Ade Akinbiyi on it before settling upon Michael as the ultimate satirical signing. The concept of Michael Owen’s medical to join Manchester United works on so many different levels that it could have been written by John Cleese and...

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Shit Shot Mungo: Holiday Special Part 5!

“Substitute” magazine’s newest writer Fleetwood MacAlbatross meets German footballer Norbert Mauser in this week’s piece of the Shit Shot Mungo Holiday Special. Scribbled in crayon by the inimitable Dotmund, a bigger version of this is available from...

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