Conference Party

Firstly, a quick word about the European Cup tonight. I am hoping amongst hope that we’ll have none of the dreary cod-patriotism that usually mars ITV’s coverage of it. Why, exactly, do they assume that everyone watching it wants English clubs to do well? If Manchester United and Liverpool’s victories in it in recent years have proven anything, it is that Premiership clubs become even more insufferably arrogant when they win this competition. I don’t want this. I want Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal to be humiliated, and I’d prefer it to happen sooner rather than later. I know it won’t, but I don’t want it made even worse with ninety minutes of Peter Drury telling us how “great” it will be for English football if one of these over-commercialised behemoths wins another trinket. See, the thing is, I know that Peter Drury is an Arsenal supporter. I also know that Clive Tyldesley is a Manchester United supporter. I even know that Guy Mowbray used to be such a staunch Arsenal supporter that he used to be the editor of the Arsenal fanzine, “The Gooner”. It’s a long way from an interview that I read with Barry Davies many years ago, in which he refused to even divulge who he supported as a child, in case it allowed people to cast aspersions over his impartiality as a commentator....

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