Running Out Of Ideas

I probably give too much away on here. Whilst re-reading “Fever Pitch” for approximately the 12,000th time earlier today, I was reminded of a peculiar little tic of mine that manifests itself at football matches. It goes something like this: I have to be in the ground a good five minutes before kick-off. Not particularly to sample the pre-match atmosphere, or even to pick up a quick Bovril before it all kicks off. No. What intrigues me is the song that is played as the teams run out onto the pitch. At some grounds, as we’ll see, it’s positively inspired, whilst at others… less so. We all know of the ubiquity of “Simply The Best”, which was replaced, of course, by “Let Me Entertain You”. We also know of the dark humour to be had at some dismal Third Division ground, when a team in the middle of a twenty match run without a goal trot out with the look of lambs to the slaughter to the crackly strains of “We Are The Champions”. The songs that teams run out to range from the self-parodic (the last time I went to see Barnet, they emerged from the tunnel to “Tubthumping” – “I get knocked down but I get back up again” – by Chumbawumba), to the downright bizarre (see below). This is something of a top ten, though I...

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